I heard a story that says, "life can be summarized in three words,in which...:"it goes on!!!" In whatever circumstances we encounter,good or bad,we still have to move on and just leave the past behind.but in my case,I know i''ll still cry and long for my love ones.Till when?I myself cant tell..Last summer vacation, my life was all all right!my family was a happy one!though others are in abroad,we always talk to each other through phone.before I leave for manila to study,I talk to aunt edith ,my ever- energetic and health conscious aunt.we chat and she sounded very lively,reminding me of studying well and thats shes waiting for me in minnessotta .Shes one of my inspirations.. July, she got the killer - C, has been at the intensive care unit,,(I.C.U) for weeks and eventually,left us unguarded. I cried so much for her untimely demise. Its been hard for me to believe..such a hard time without her.Months passed and I''m beginning to accept things.on semester break,I went to the province and visited her at the cemetery.This same month,my Mom called and shuttered me with the news that my Tatay, my favorite and affectionate and funny grandfather,had left us too.. It was shocking!! I immediately went back to our province. T''was so painful that he had left me too.. back in our house,there i saw him,lying still,eyes tightly shut.. Suddenly I missed our talks,our fun times together,his stories and his being so loving to us..his grandchildren..That time,i dont know how to cope up..Thanks to my family and the people around me..My friends in the boarding house helped me through my hurting times..My studies freed my aching heart and my confused ming of the thought of their death..December 7th,just this month..my landlady who became close to me and who always cared for me,especially in the times of grief..passed away!Now i had no one here to turn to..I really felt alone!I just cried over her death..Two days after,I got a txt message that my other grandma had just died.. so maybe now you can tell what im going through..Four special persons in my life left me and it all just happen in a year..one leaves just as i am starting to get over the lost of the other..these events were the most tragic part of my life..!!Losing those persons really wounded me..I know it will heal in time but for sure the scar will remain..Up to this day,,im trying to live each pages of my life as normal as before,when they were alive,talking to me..caring for me..but the but the reality that it''ll never be the same again leaves emptiness in me;prolonging the pain it caused me..I wont be able to hear their voices again nor to feel the warmth of their touch..yet i know that they will continue guiding me from afar..Everything happens for a reason.their death had been traumatic for me and its purpose is not yet clear to me,but I believe that in God''s time,,I will be enlightened!!!Acceptance is all i need now..theyre death still brings me tears but god is always with me in my struggles so i wont be astrayed..
My writing rour my emotions,too.Tatay willbe very proud seeing me write again,and so as my aunt edith..
Yes,I should go on with my life,and writing will be one of my instruments..as i am writing this,I felt lighter now..and as i finished this,I had started MOVING ON..harder this time but gomy drive and soon,,I will be fine..