Is this an all too familiar scenario? Hot and heavy loving with
hungry kisses and tender caresses that promise orgasmic
bliss for both
you and your eager partner when all of a sudden you''re one thrust past
the edge, the dam bursts and it''s over. You''re finished, "spent" and
ready for sleep. She''s still waiting for more, perhaps wistfully
contemplating a purchase of that acrylic vibrating dildo her friend has
been raving about.Well, you''re not alone in this
too-quick-for-her-climax intercourse. The "average" man makes about 50
thrusts before he ejaculates. For most women it takes approximately 10
minutes of active intercourse to reach orgasm. Even the most optimistic
lover can see these numbers just don''t add up! But don''t roll over and
nod off yet, there are some simple things you can do to bring your
partner and you much closer together.These male/female
discrepancies in timing are part physiological and part habit.
Physically men''s and women''s arousal rates vary widely, but for the
most part women become fully turned on much more slowly than men. So a
great way to make sure you''re both happy with your love life is to
include lots of foreplay. Help her reach orgasm with your fingers,
tongue, and lips before you even start to have intercourse.Secondly,
most men''s experience with sex starts out as rather furtive
masturbation, a quick release in the bathroom or under the bedcovers
before someone can see what''s going on. Then onto early sexual
experiences with a girlfriend in back seats of cars or in a basement
rec room, again in a hurry, before she changes her mind or her parents
come along to change it for her.Now when you have the time and
space for long lovemaking good old John Thomas is still back in the
"I''ve gotta come now" days, and he''s not going to slow down just
because you tell him to. That''s like asking a guy who''s trained as a
sprint champ to bring home a gold in the 5000 meter instead. He may
well be able to make the shift but he''s going to need coaching. You can
train him with your mind, your muscles and your breath or a combination
of all three. It''s not entirely up to you either, your loving partner
can assist, after all it''s for her benefit as well!The first
step is to become aware of your own levels of arousal. Experiment, take
your time and give yourself a very real self-loving exploration, not
just a quick masturbatory release. Notice how your penis moves through
distinct changes before orgasm and
ejaculation, he''s not just soft and
then hard and spewing.There are four defined stages of erection:
lengthening and filling; swelling; full erection; rigid erection. The
fourth stage, rigid erection, characterized by a penis that''s very
stiff (a boner) and very hot, signifies ejaculation is close at hand.
Through attentive self-arousal and the playful hands of your sweetheart
you can learn how to stay for longer periods of time in the exciting,
but less explosive, third stage of firm erection. When you feel
yourself moving into the hard, hot level stop stimulation, relax and
pay attention to your
breathing. Breathe slowly and deeply.The Power of Breath
Conscious breathing is a key for extended lovemaking. Rapid breathing
excites and arouses you. Slow, controlled breathing, way down into your
belly, calms you and helps delay ejaculation. Focusing on your breath
takes your attention away from your genitals. Synchronizing your
breathing rhythm with your partner''s strengthens your connection with
each other. Adding sound to your breathing can also help you ride the
edge of pleasure. As you exhale send out a deep lion roar. Feel the
sound come from your scrotum, up through your belly and lungs and out
your mouth as a powerful release of the orgasmic tension building
inside you.You can use some of the following "muscle techniques" to postpone ejaculation as well.----(Cont) in part 2.