A few fortunate, and likely quite popular men, have learned to make
ejaculation voluntary. This means they can last
a long time and come
when they want to. Most however ejaculate involuntarily-perhaps
prematurely, that is, before they or their partner are ready for it.Coming
too soon may be due to a physical medical condition, but this is not
common. Most men who ejaculate prematurely do so because of learned
behavior and sexual beliefs, or because they haven''t discovered the
simple techniques that can help them last.In order to make
ejaculation completely voluntary, a man must learn to do two things.
First he must learn to keep his entire body relaxed regardless of how
sexually aroused he becomes. Second he must learn to move the sexual
charge that builds up during lovemaking away from his genitals and
circulate that energy throughout his entire body.RELAXATIONMen
usually tense their bodies as ejaculation approaches. This is a natural
involuntary reflex, but by deliberately applying some of the following
relaxation techniques you can become skilled at letting go and staying
loose even at intense levels of sexual arousal.Massage
Few things enable a man to be as profoundly relaxed as a loving erotic
full-body massage. Women can help men get out of their heads and into
their bodies by giving them a massage as a prelude to intercourse. Most
men will notice a significant improvement in their ability to delay
ejaculation after receiving a massage. Not only does massage help relax
your body, it also opens up your flow of energy so that the sexual
charge does not get stuck in your genitals.Stop And Become Still Or Slow Down
Before you get to the point of no return, try slowing or stopping all
movement. This usually works every time. Wait for the energy and
excitement to subside and then you can resume active lovemaking.Breathe Slowly And Deeply
As you come close to climax, switch your attention away from your
genitals onto your breath. Take slow deep breaths that fill your entire
lungs. Make your exhalation last about as long as your inhalation. Let
your body go loose. Open your eyes and make eye contact with your
partner. Try to breathe in rhythm together. Continue breathing in this
deliberate way until your sexual energy has calmed down.Avoid Stimulating The Frenulum
The frenulum is the bulge of loose skin just below the glans head on
the underside of your penis. This spot is very easily excitable and can
build the man too quickly to climax. Stay away from this spot to avoid
involuntary ejaculation.Squeezing The Glans
The glans of the penis is the big smooth head at the top of the penis
shaft. When ejaculation is imminent you or your partner can squeeze the
glans firmly and hold on tight. With the other hand use your thumb and
index finger to press firmly on both sides of your penis at the base
where the penis rises from the pubic bone. This effectively cuts off
the neurological ejaculatory response from your brain to your prostate
and will stop the ejaculation. This technique is easiest to use when
your are being stimulated orally or manually. It also requires split
second timing. Do not do it if ejaculation has already begun, it can be
quite painful!Three Finger
Perineum Press
When you reach a point of high arousal and you know ejaculation is
close, you or your partner can press on the perineum, the stretch of
skin between your anus and scrotum. In preparation for using the
technique during active intercourse, try touching this spot when an
ejaculation starts and you will feel the vibrations of climax in your
prostate gland. This is how you will know where to press. Notice where
the vibrations are strongest - usually at about the midpoint on the
perineum. To delay ejaculation, when you are at the point of no return
but before the ejaculation has started, press firmly on this area of
the perineum with the first three fingers of either hand. You can do
this yourself or youpartner can do it for you. Hold until the urge to
ejaculate subsides.