I’ve been a spoiled child, the youngest and the loveliest, (Lol)
protected from any contact with the world, even the
restiveness of my
own heart.
Adulation, pampering, coddling, a good school, careful monitoring of
newspapers, magazine and televisions for the reason that there’s so
much evil and violence and its better if they protect me from those
things. They believe I’ll suffer when I grow up, for it’s inevitable so
they give me a happy childhood. Perfumes, fine garments, elegant
jewelry… but in spite of their efforts I turned just to be an
unconventional woman who mocks everything. (Lol) (1. I hate it when
people start babbling about their acquired knowledge through soap
operas in TV- these things taught them the idea that we all suffer in
this life and to bear many trials and tribulations before reaching the
“happy ending.”
2. I hate “uberly” ambitious people who want to ascend in the social
ladder. Who use their physical attributes and a little artifice of
their learned manners, used few foreign phrases to mimic the elite,
often misused just to give an impression of being affluent & fluent
in that particular language.)
Right after graduation, I give up the promise of “bum-hood” (the
pleasure of traveling, wandering and spending) to be a slave in the
four confining walls of the “real world” (the workplace). Some people
might smirk at my back and say, “There’s no future in that profession,
and for Pete’s sake no money!” Regardless of these remarks I can still
manage to laugh and put a genuine smile in my face whenever I’m happy
with little accomplishments. I know life isn’t easy. I have to live
life and work with miracles to keep my head above the water. From the
time I started working in the publication, I felt as if I’m living in a
life of perpetual bolt from the blue. I had one foot in the compulsory
illusions and the other in “secret
reality”. I had to adjust my frame
of mind to the demands of the moment but at the end of the day, in the
silence of my room, I would review the day events and conclude that in
facing the daily challenge in life, I need to look at the two sides of
the coin to avoid being immobilized by fear or rage.
Sometimes I feel that my days seem all the same. I did not know what’s
next and the only time I find relief was when I lay my head on my bed
(a temporary escape from reality). My life is a chain of routine that
varied only with the seasons.
It’s like there’s nothing but work and weariness. The most peaceful
moment of the day come at dusk, when I sat down and there I was
transported to a distant universe of which I understood very little.