Many days go by and i find my mom saying the same things to me, day in and day out: "Clean your room!" "Did you finish your homework?" "Wash the dishes." "Take the trash out please...." And yes, I get caught up with these everyday music to my ears. I never did feel important to my mom, ever. Whenever I did something good, she never appreciated it but if i've done even just a little mistakes, she's always upset and it seems she sees me as damsel-in-distress.
I fell locked in a cage as a prisoner of her very tight hands that i can't breathe at all. She never gave me the freedom to do what i want because she always wanted me to follow what she wanted me to be. She would shutter: " You have to do what i say, it's for your own good!" Days passed by and the things between us never seemed to change. There was this time when we were sitting together on the sofa watching t.v. She was so near me yet so far. I wanted to tell her how i felt, unfurl all my hatred to her for they all gushing through my veins but i was afraid she wouldn't understand so i just buried them all inside and managed to bear all the pain.
One rainy morning, I rose from the bed immediately to take the trash out. As i was about to get it, I found it already emptied so i just decided to go the kitchen and have my breakfast. Everything was well-prepared. (This is what i like most about her, she cooks really good food. That's all and nothing more!) As i was done with my food, I sat on the sofa and turned on the t.v. but my attention was caught by this little, pink envelope. To my surprise, it was from Mom. This is unusual of her, a letter for me? I opened it and it said:
To my dear child,
Many days go by and I find myself saying the same things to you day in and day out: "Clean your room!","Is your room clean?", "Wash the dishes", "Take the trash out please."
Many nights after you have fallen asleep and looked so peaceful, I wondered to myself, did i tell you that I Love you? That i appreciate all you do for me? That through your entire life you would find me in your cheering section? Have i asked you lately about your happiness and what's going on with your life? I dreamed of so many dreams for you that i wanted your life to be perfect and i guess i forgot whose life it is. I'm sorry that there are so many times when i got caught up with everyday routines that I forgot the simple, important things in life.
Suddenly, I felt that the anger inside me was slowly set free. As i was to continue reading the letter, the t.v. caught my attention about the big pile up along the highway near our subdivision and flashed the names of the victims. NO! My mom's name is in there... I was shocked, completely astonished.I couldn't speak, I felt that my whole being is broken into pieces. My mind kept shouting, "No! this is not happening! I haven't even told her how much I love her and how much I owe my life to her.
As i continued crying, the last phrases of mom's letter appeared in the dark corners of my eyes: " I hope there's a room in your heart to forgive me for all my shortcomings. Just always bear in mind and heart that no matter how far apart we seem to be, I love you very much and I'm proud of all that you stand for..."
I am such a failure for letting myself be blinded by gust of hate. I couldn't take it any longer so I burst out, wept and grieved. Then suddenly, I was enraptured by a familiar voice calling my name. The voice isbsp;and it eases the pain in me. I listened to it until it became clearer and clearer and... " Ella, wake up! You'll be late for school!" It was mom. I was dreaming. I rose from bed with tears of joy in my face. She was surprised and asked me why i was crying. Without a single word, i hugged her tight and shouted, I LOVE YOU MOM!