Marry Me?
In this new thread, texigan-again posts, “What do you think is the most
important thing for a long term,
successful, loving marriage?”
Oh sure, there’s the answers you’d expect: Commitment, respect, sex, sharing dish duty.
And then there''s some you might not expect. tinderbox03 writes, “Also, if possible somehow, essential to great, lengthy marriages is NOT having money problems.”
Now here’s something I think most young people
considering marriage don’t think about. Money, money. You think, oh we’re in love, it’ll work – underestimating the importance of dull, boring old finances. What do you think?
Then there’s ksasmom. “I think the most
important thing is to make the marriage itself the most important thing…I see so many marriages where the kids run the whole family, the parents do nothing but ''sacrifice'' for the kids…I recognize that the children will, keeping fingers crossed here, will one day fly the nest. I would like to know the person sharing my bed at that point.”
Wow, what a good point, and one I’m not sure I see articulated very often. Remember a few years ago when everyone was all angry with the writer Ayelet Waldman, for blogging about how she loves her husband more than her kids? (OKAY she didn’t say that in those exact words, and she obviously loves her kids.) But I don’t know – it doesn’t sound all that crazy to me. You and your husband are a team, right? And it has to be that way to work and to keep working. Right?
goddess_lonestarmom adds, “I''m no Dr. Laura, saying you should wait until over 30 to get married. But waiting until after college, at least, really helps the likelihood for long-term successful marriage.”
Well, many posters who married young (19/20) beg to differ.
So, my little bees, what is it really? Whether you’re in a happy marriage or considering marriage or never considering marriage ever ever ever…what does it take to make it work?