As we struggle with our individual personal problems we tend
to focus on things and people we dislike. This book walks us through the
rabbit holes of negativity and our tendency to overlook the good stuffs that
are already all around us.
We live in a world soaked in negativity. We are all obsessed with our
individual problems: we think and talk about them - problems with our work, our
relationships, our children, our boss, our neighbor, etc, you name it. To
some extent, talking about our problems and challenges can be positive and
productive, even therapeutic. However, this process can only be positive
if our thoughts and conversations lead us to resolve the negativity, make
changes and let go. Problem is, we tend to dwell on these thoughts and fail to
move forward with positive actions to resolve the very things that annoy us. As
we struggle with ourselves and with our thoughts, we mostly end up thinking
negatively about other people, especially those close to us. We tend to focus
on what we don’t like, things that get into our nerves and those that irritate
our sensibilities. As this becomes pervasive, we begin to have difficulty
appreciating and giving thanks for the good things that come our way.
When we struggle with problems, our thought processes are mostly judgmental.
Whether we like it or not, we judge people and events. These judgments tend to
be clouded with emotions, fears and biases, leaving factual considerations as
secondary, sometimes as mere after-thoughts.
We live in a gossip economy. The most interesting and best-selling TV shows,
talk shows, tabloids, conversations, emails, -anything that get the most
attention and revenue – are various forms of gossip about other people's
circumstances. The feeding frenzy in mass-media drives our appetite for gossip.
We live in a world that breathes competition and comparison. We grew up
convinced that success is all about the highest, the biggest, the fastest, and
the best of things. Again, this pulls us towards lack of appreciation of the
things and people around us. We also develop strong rationalizations for all
our judgments, gossips, competition and comparisons towards others. Even when
we sometimes realize how wrong we were, we tend to blame others for the
judgments, gossips, comparisons we have made of others.
What should our response be? Robbins offers no special solution except to learn
to “simply do it" and "focus on the good stuffs".
The secret: There is no secret. There is no magic formula - only a simple
resolve to appreciate ourselves, acknowledge others and focus on things we
should be grateful for. We all know how to do these things. Everything we need
to succeed is already all around us – we just need to recognize them. - For
recognition leads to appreciation and appreciation leads to celebration.
Otherwise, anything not recognized will soon go away.