Translation by: femme/600/28 September 2005
Hello! Today I'm better. I'm no longer depressed. I would only like it if everything would go well all of the time. Is that too much to ask? Of course it is. I believe that life would, in fact, be even a bit boring if it were perfect. But I would like it to be less hard. It seems that we know everything when we're born, then we forget it all. Then we are given a life to live so that we can try to learn everything over and over again. Or perhaps it's that everyone is in Paradise and we act like Adam and Eve did and are then driven out. If this is true, one has to be really stupid if one has to do everything over again and again. Or perhaps it's that we're here to accomplish a task. Who knows? Some people even say that we should accomplish a mission and that we transform ourselves, lifetime after lifetime, in order to complete it. Me, I don't know anything about it. How can one choose what to believe in if the subject is beyond ourrselves ability to comprehend? Someone told me one day that those who don't believe in anything end up committing suicide or have a poor life because human beings should believe in something. But if on one hand somebody teaches you that we are descended from apes and, on the other, somebody else tells you that Adam and Eve were the first human beings and gave birth to other humans like ourselves, how does one come out with it? Does one insinuate (in a totally logical way) that Adam and Eve were apes? That they never existed? That we are NOT descended from apes? If not, what is one to make of all the evidence, of all the human bones that were discovered and date back some hundreds of thousands of years? I understand why some people commit suicide. If one has two hypotheses that are completely (or nearly so) based on real facts, how does one determine which is the right one? What should one believe in? If we decide to believe in Science, how do we explain the creation of the universe? A big bang, of course, but what was it that brought about the explosion? How is it that the different animal species made their appearance? These are the multitude of questions that bother me. If the answer is God, that's all well and good-let Him make it known to us instead of letting us play around with the mysteries of life! If not, why are we here? Where does one go after death if not to Paradise? Frankly, the more I question myself about it the more I become lost. Perhaps one needn't ask oneself these questions. I'm getting on everyone's nerves with my questions-they even annoy me.