Where do you end and I begin ? In the book Boundaries, Anne Katherine answers this question. Having clear boundaries means that we know what is our responsibility in a relationship and what is the other person’s responsibility. We can clearly define who we are regardless of how other people treat us. If our friend has a problem, we are there to listen, but we don’t feel responsible to fix their problem.
For people who have trouble with boundary violations, like co-dependents and alcoholics, the best advice can be found in these pages. In this book, the author and counselor Anne Katherine defines boundaries and the need for clarity in relationships. The subjects discussed in the book are arranged by boundary issues, such as, emotional enmeshment and lack of intimacy as well as ways for determining appropriate behavior.
This insightful text on boundaries is filled with stories and anecdotes that help the reader put the information into context. Each chapter ends with exercises that help the reader envision the boundary issues that are discussed. Following the exercises in chapter one is a boundaries quiz.
Chapter eight , “Two Letters to Some Special People” is especially useful for people with food addictions and compulsive overeaters, who eat out of the emotional need for protection. The author explains how unresolved abuse issues and unclear boundaries lead to overeating. The two chapters, “Intimacy” and “Mending Walls” wrap the book up by showing how real intimacy is based on clear boundaries and how to repair boundaries.
Anne Katherine’s book Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin is an excellent book for those of us who are unclear about how to navigate relationships with clear boundaries. It is an excellent resource on how to experience the intimacy of a relationship without the overwhelming guilt of enmeshment. This book can provide the answers many of us are looking for, to guide us in our most important relationships.