When I was to be married,it
used to be real joy to hear just anything under the sun
about my to-be hubby.My new family was familiar to an
extent, to that of mine.I had little idea about his
socialising..that he loved helping people out and that
his
own work often took a backseat when it came to
prioritising
his tasks.
In the heart of my hearts,I was enthusiastic about
marrying a man with no selfish ends to meet in today's
world where we find everyone around us concerned about
their own petty concerns.He,atleast,has time for
something
worthwhile..I thought.
And we tied the nuptial knot..I came into this new,
big
joint family of mine,very well known in the scholastic
circle in the city and outside.
Initial 2-3 years were very demanding and I could
hardly
afford to be with him,and was mostly busy fulfilling
family
obligations,not surprisingly, like most of the normal
Indian bahus!
But as the time passed by,a hitherto unnoticed
realization started nagging me bitterly.I was being
marginalised in his life..we spent very little or at
times
no time at all with each other.
Gradually my concentration power weakened and my
first
love..my studies suffered.And then the responsibilities
of
home and children!..I lost my confidence in almost all
things,even in those things that I once enjoyed doing
inspite all odds.
Not surprisingly then,I started fighting with him
every
now and then;would not talk to him for days;would
shriek
out at children and at the most,I would make myself
look
ill in order to drag his attention.But all through
this, he
looked little perplexed..talking to me,helping me out
in
the kitchen for a while,making funny faces at me to
make me
smile.. and before I could surrender to his act of
benevolence,someone was there knocking at the
door"M...ji
hain kya?"His uninterrupted phone calls left me
helpless.
Sometimes I would burst out saying "You do so much
for
them,but mind you,the same people will turn a blind eye
to
your needs.And remember that."BUT..his cool n calm
reply
would put me into sheer silence.He would say"Dear, I
don't
do anything because the same is going to pay me back in
future.but somehow it comes naturally to me and when I
have
enough resources,then what is the problem?Not everyone
gets
this opportunity.And it is you whom I will turn to for
any
kind of support and not anybody else."
And gradually as I got to know him better and his
surroundings,all this seemed to me unavoidable.People
around him are less lifestyle conscious and more
conscious
towards their social behaviour and life.
From him,having spent most of his years in the
city,I
could not have expected less.
And when I see people coming from far away
places,and
returning with a broad smile on their faces,all my woes
are
gone.