THERE come seasons of darkness in
all our lives – times when there is neither sun, nor moon, nor stars in the
sky, and we stand still in fear, or grope, trembling.
A
few years ago there fell upon my life one of these seasons, in which I could
see neither to the right nor the left. A terror of darkness was upon me.
One
night I lay awake, thinking, thinking, until my brain grew wild with
uncertainty. I could not see a step in advance, and feared to move onward, lest
with the next footfall I should plunge into hopeless ruin. Very strongly was I
tempted to turn aside form the way in which I was going—a way reason and
conscience approved as right: but something held me back. Again and again I
took up and considered the difficulties of my situation, looking to the right
hand and the left for ways of extrication; inclining now to go in this
direction, and now in that; yet always held away form resolve by inner
convictions of right and duty, that grew clear at the moment when I was ready
to give up my hold on integrity. So the hours went, heavy – footed, until past midnight. My little daughter was sleeping in the
crib beside my bad. But now she began to move uneasily, and presently her timid
voice broke faintly: -
“Papa!”
She called.
“What
is it, darling? “ I asked.
“O
papa, it is dark! Take Nellie’s hand! ” I reached out my hand and took her tiny
one in my own, clasping it firmly. A sigh of relief came up form her little
heart. All her loneliness and fear were gone, and in a few moments she was
sound asleep again.
“O
my Father in heaven!” I cried, in a sudden, almost wild, outburst of feeling.
“It is dark very dark. Take my hand!”
A
great peace fell upon me. The terror of darkness was gone. “Keep hold of my
hand, O my Father!” I prayed fervently; “and though I should be called to walk
through the valley and the shadow of death, I will fear no evil. Let not my
feet wander to the right nor to the left.”