'Wouldn't it be better if you were a
cabbage!' said my little son.I listened to him curiously.'If you were a cabbage, I could revive you simply by planting a seed of cabbage if you
died,'......'But you are human, and a humanbeing has to die eventually. I could never see you again if you died, right? Wouldn't it be better if you were a cabbage?!'I held him tightly, his face just beside mine.I looked at him, wondering that this little boy was a part of me six years ago.Six years ago......He is already a big guy now. Because of that, I sometimes pretend to be angry in front of him just like a little girl. He always says:'Don't be mad, don't be mad. You will become older if you get mad and old people will die. How could I find you if you died?''If I died, I would fly high into the sky and look at you from there. I would check whether you study hard, whether you go to college. I would see you get married yourself and somebody call you Dady.' I said.'Should I marry a woman?''Of course!''If then, I want to marry you!'I
laughed into tears, so did my husband,'Your Mom is my wife. How can you take away your Dad's wife? You should study hard and become a hero. There will be a lot of women want to marry you!'They are the two men in my life: my son and my husband.Two years ago, my husband and I quitted our jobs at the same time because we were both tired of them. Since then, we simply lived on our savings with no incomes at all. One day, my husband and I were wandering down the street and we passed by a store, I caught a glimpse of a
cheong-
sam in there. Later that night, after we went back to the small apartment we rent, my husband asked me to open a package: It was that cheong-sam. That was a 300-yuan cheong-sam, but all we had was only 80......I looked at him, confused.' I have a bunch of friends and I would pay them back after I find a job.'I should have cried, moved into tears since only tears can express myself at that moment. But I know he does not like that. Every time I cried, he thought I did so because he was not kind enough to me and blamed himself again and again. He loves my smile. Only if I smile can he realize that I am so happy to be with him and our family. So I tried on that beautiful cheong-sam happily and posed like a movie star in front of him.In the depth of the night, there are always
laughters in our apartment. Because it is so small, our laughters seem to be heavy and loud. Where will these laughters be after they fly away from our sweet little home......An old friend said to me:'You must be very happy.''Why?''Everytime I called you, you always laughed and laughed. I am worried about my ears, you know?'I laughed loud again, letting my laughters to be deafening.I am happy, I think.
Happiness is not how a wife can enjoy the wealth and social status by having such a husband; happiness is not how a mother can show off after her genius son get his PHD. Happiness is how I am meant to be a man's wife, a man's mother and how we built such a family together. Nothing can substitute such a husband and such a son. No matter how hard we live, we will stick together and get over it. As we pass by the route of life, we laugh and we love.I think I am a woman of happiness, the happiness given by two men.
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