"How tough could it be?" is not a question that husbands should ask stay-at-
home wives. It ranks right up there with "What do you do all day?" which, as Austin Murphy notes, is a very effective form of contraception.
This question is Murphy’s "before" picture--his attitude prior to leaving his dream
job and becoming a stay-at-home
dad. Before you begin this book, you must know that he is not making this up. He actually leaves his job at Sports Illustrated for six months to keep
house and let his wife pursue her own writing career. Looking through the
family albums one day, he realized that he just wasn't in the picture, in more ways than one.
So he begins The Experiment, an attempt to reconnect with his family. It’s a thoughtful approach that gives some heart to the classic “fish-out-of-water” formula. It didn’t really work for me, however, because the family he comes home to is one that any sane man would run away from.
Laura Hilgers and Willa and Devin Murphy may be adorable people in real life, but as their husband and
father portrays them, they come across as very unpleasant. Laura is a character of two notes: shrewish nag or nagging shrew, as the situation demands. She hands her husband a brochure in February saying smugly "'Smart working moms'--by which Laura means, well, Laura--'get their kids signed up for camp early." When Mr. Mom forgets to call until just a week before camp is due to start, Laura is not amused. But then, Laura is never amused, unless she is watching her husband suffer the indignities of motherhood. When he comes to her for sympathy, she smirks and says "Now you know what mothers feel like."
Willa, eight, is precocious and snarky, with a sense of entitlement as large as her sense of outrage. Devin, six, is called by his father, jokingly but with a grain of truth, a slug. Both
children are rude and opinionated and rarely show affection for their father. When he sums up their endearing qualities at the end of the book--"the vast creativity of Willa, the gigantic personality of Devin,"--I'm wondering if we're talking about the same children.
The story has more warmth when Murphy is away from his family, particularly when he is volunteering at school. Beginning as a novelty to the other mothers, he is gratified when he is accepted as one of the girls. He monitors the circular driveway in front of the school, urging inconsiderate parents to Move Their Cars AHEAD!!!! He checks for head lice, picks up after dogs, and drives for field trips. His greatest labour of love, organizing a talent show, involves both the funniest and most touching characters of the book: a micro-managing assistant principal and a small boy with cerebral palsy who brings down the house with his songs and jokes. If I were Murphy, I would have asked that boy if I could go live at his house.
At one point, Murphy despairs that his children don't get his sarcasm. I got it. Over and over again. It's the main chord in this book. Sometimes it gets the laughs, but other times it’s just too harsh, particularly as he describes his family. The book doesn’t entirely live up to its marketing as “heartfelt.” Amusing, yes. Captivating, certainly, in the sort of way that a train wreck is. It’s a story that goes back to the time of fairy tales: a man underestimates his wife’s job, offers to switch places with her, falls flat on his face in a variety of hilarious incidents, and emerges a wiser, more appreciative man. It’s a bit of a gamble, but with his personable approach and his glib style, Murphy manages to make the moth-eaten scenario work.
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