It feels good
tonight.My window is opened just a little bit, enough for the wind to tickles my naked neck. It comforts me
and reminds me that the semester is over and there''s just a tiny piece of it left: Final exams.
I finished my projects today and wasn''t totally satisfied with my performance. Not because I didn''t do well, but because I wasn''t "Nicole" good... And since I have no idea about my grade, this leaves me waiting impatiently for the results. But till then, I just have to wait patiently...
It is very calm around, however it''s not silent. My 3-in-1 HP printer is fussing about the load it is carrying, since my feet are helplessly set on it, as I contemplate the glamour of my red-painted-toes. I wouldn''t say that they are my biggest asset... neither are my fingers... nor my nails in general.
I realized today that I tend to act a little bitchy when it comes to achieving my goals, especially when dealing with people who do not mean anything to me and to whom I don''t mean a thing. Weird thing is, I don''t mind. I''d understand if they did the same to get where they want, I don''t trust stuff such as "bel amaliyyeh" or "haram" or whatever. The better person wins. Some people might not understand that...
Speaking of people who do not understand, I have noticed something very funny and it happens quite a few times. Whenever people do not understand me or my ideas, they describe me as "crazy"... of course the craziness they refere to varies from original to weird and it''s never about behavior, it''s about ideas. Lama would never describe my ideas as crazy, whenever she uses the word, it is usually as a reference to my actions. Thus Lama understands the way I think... She might not always agree especially when it comes to fashion styles, however she understands me.
The
silence is comforting, I need the silence
tonight. Eventhough i''m not stressed out nor pissed off, I feel that anything I might say just now (say, not type) might come out wrong. I''m not as diplomatic as I should be tonight and I wouldn''t care about hurting someone by being too honest, this is why I try to avoid talking to people. With the wind travelling into my room, I can smell the odor of my blue Davidof Cool Water rising from my after-noon top. It is liying right behind me, comfortably on the bed... that bed that calls out so gently, inviting the soul with warmth to come and rest till morning light... yet I''m not willing to take that invitation just now, maybe in a little bit... bed could wait for now.
(05/31/07, 11:37 pm)