Mr. Hoppy is a lonely old man with two loves. The first is his garden on his second-story balcony, and the second is the
widow who lives below him. Mrs. Silver’s balcony is bigger than Mr. Hoppy’s, and he learns over occasionally to make nervous small talk with her. Mrs. Silver has no clue Mr. Hoppy is madly in love with her, because she only has eyes for her pet
tortoise named Alfie.
Alfie lives on the balcony year-round, hibernating in the straw in his small house in the winter. Every year, Mrs. Silver weighs Alfie, and every year he weighs 13 ounces. One morning, Mrs. Silver and Mr. Hoppy are talking, and Mrs. Silver expresses her concern that Alfie has only grown three ounces in all the years they have been together. She feels sorry for Alfie because other
tortoises grow much bigger, and she thinks Alfie might be jealous of other tortoises. Mr. Hoppy is only jealous of Alfie.
Mr. Hoppy has a plan to win Mrs. Silver’s heart. He tells her that he knows a secret to make tortoises grow. He lowers a piece of paper with magic words written on it that Mrs. Silver must whisper to Alfie three times a day. The magic words are really just regular words written backwards. When Mrs. Silver asks what it means, Mr. Hoppy explains that tortoises are backward animals and only listen to things spoken backwards.
Mr. Hoppy goes to pet stores all over town to buy tortoises of varying sizes. Then he goes to the mechanic’s shop where he used to work to make himself a tortoise-grabbing claw. While Mrs. Silver is at work, Mr. Hoppy exchanges Alfie for a tortoise weighing exactly two ounces more. Mrs. Silver doesn’t notice the difference when she returns, but continues to say the magic words.
For the next eight weeks, Mr. Hoppy leans over his balcony with the grabber to exchange “Alfie” for a slightly bigger tortoise. At 27 ounces, the newest Alfie is too big to fit into his house, and Mrs. Silver finally notices the difference. Mrs. Silver is so happy, she lets Mr. Hoppy come down to hold Alfie.
Mrs. Silver now wants Alfie to be a little smaller because she doesn’t want to cut a bigger hole and ruin the house. Mr. Hoppy gives her new magic words, which she agrees to try for a day. After several tries, Mr. Hoppy exchanges Alfie for a tortoise that can just fit through the door of the house.
Mrs. Silver is so delighted with Alfie’s response that she invites Mr. Hoppy upstairs for tea. He finally has the courage to ask her to marry him, and she accepts the proposal.
Mr. Silver takes all his extra tortoises to pet stores and gives them away for free. Little Roberta Squibb adopts the original Alfie, and he lives a happy life in her garden. When Alfie is about thirty, his size finally doubles.