17th September 2005. Today the weather is nice and I feel light, I have had a good night sleep and I am at home all by myself. My life has not been this simple all along when I look back. sometimes it is true that everything seems all mixed up and my life bounces back as if I am an equilibrist, trying to find the
right balance between what is right and what is wrong. Death and darkness are all around me, inviting themselves in my
mind and destroying my happiness. I am as if addicted to the
need to feel in melancholic states of mind, together with sorrow and the need to have strange thoughts which sometimes frighten me. I have often tried to write in order to get rid of all these sordid thoughts. However once the crisis is over I no longer feel the need to write and reading these writings make me perplex. I have hence decided to
start writing my own story and life given that my story is nothing original since i
believe many other people have been experiencing this type of problem. It will be a tough job but I have decided to challenge myself. The hardest
bit is to start writing itself. I am not "hot" but rather different from others or even more honest to be able to say it openly as I believe that there is hidden in each one of us a little bit of "madness".
More reviews about the JOURNAL