Reaction Lags:
There are couples where one reacts a bit slow compared to the other. It happens that a partner, within work, while thinking, emotionally reacts a bit late compared to the other. Just like those old trains of the past:
"Long to start and once the machine is on and at full speed, long to come to a stop".
A partner who takes long:
Marc propose to Gisele. She thinks: "Oh no, he's too short!". Weeks go by and she ended up telling to herself: "He's short but he chose me ... Which proves that he has taste!" And one day she wakes up in love with Marc saying: "After all, height is not that important!"
Aicha asked Reshad to build a shelf. Not only did he wait for a year but before starting he kept wandering around looking for his tools ... Aicha ended up telling him: "Give me your hammer and nails. I'll show you how to put up a shelf!"
Rajen wants to please his wife: "Darling, tonight am taking you to a movie". Wife: "Movie? Its not you who have to do the house chores and to look after the kids!""O.K., no movie, after all there is the television!" When the night comes, madam is all decked up: "Are you ready?"
Jose is a waiter in an Hotel on the coast. He can't tell his wife Isabelle when exactly he will be home. Having got a leave, he took a bus, happy at the idea that he'll surprise his wife. At Beau Bassin, he even took a cab to get home quicker. He is already thinking about the welcome that his wife is going to give him. But when she sees him. She's without reaction. She does not seem to realise ... The next day, Isabelle begins to feel happy that he's home. But it will be when he is going back that she will fully realise! She weeps while he is happy to go and see his friends. Isabelle thinks: "He went without shedding tears ... Is it that he has already forgotten me?" And the next day, she is writing him a long letter to tell him she all that she had been unable to tell him while he was home. Jose does not write: "I just left her!"
At the Hospital, each patient has a card on which there is his/her temperature curve. If we were to look at the emotional curves of Jose and Isabelle, what would we see? The two days Jose stays home, his curve is at its highest while Isabelle's curve is at the lowest because she takes time to realise that Jose is home. The day Jose is going back, his curve is at its lowest while Isabelle's curve is at the highest because she doesn't forget quickly. At the expectation of another leave Jose's curve goes up again while Isabelle's curve is back to its lowest point because she has been accustomed with his absence and above all because she doesn't want to hope so as not to be deceived.
Vijay also can write the emotional curve for his 20 years of living with Veena. During the wooing and wedding period, his curve was at its highest. He was discovering his wife, he was fascinated with the sexual approach. Veena's curve was then going up slowing but surely. And then, rapidly, Vijay was taken up by his job, by other occupations. Veena badly wanted to yell at him: "You are no longer the same!" And she loved him even more because she felt him going away from her. And then, around 40/45 years (At times men are back to their adolescence at this age) Vijay, a bit tired by work, comes back to his little wife. But, by that time, Veena, tired of loving without getting the same response from her husband has given herself fully in the upbringing of the children and to the old lady living nearby whom she helps. "You are not like before" Vinay told her then.
This is a frequent problem within couples.
To take into account time lags:
For a couple to work pretty good and in harmony, one must take into consideration the first reaction of the other. There is a saying telling: " One gets everything from a woman with some patience" ... It also applies to the man.
ONE MUST RESPECT THE TIME EVOLUTION OF THE OTHER. One must give time to the other to assimilate the proposed idea. How many women have wed the one she has said:
"Him!!! Never!"? An
"intelligent" husband say:
"When I want us to have a weekend at my parents' place, I take good care announcing it 15 days in advance!"
In some cases, the woman needs time to adapt. And too much haste, specially on the wedding night, is badly felt:
"A woman is a being that needs to be prepared".