Practical, thorough, and well-written, this book teaches what to do about verbal violence and confrontation. It offers principles, rules and guidelines about how to practice self-defense when dealing with verbal violence. It also shows how to resist initiating verbal violence against others. It encourages onviolence and peace-keeping. One premise that runs throughout the book: when what is taught in the book learned, then there will be fewer attacks and less need to defend against attack.
Here are some specific suggestions for defusing verbal violence:
- Understand the Five Satir Modes, based on the work of Virginia Satir. Under stress, thesee modes present as behavior patterns used to launch verbal attacks. Each of the five modes is described including motive with examples of the verbal behavior for that mode.
Learn the eight most common patterns of verbal violence. Review the scripted examples of each of the attack modes with ineffective reactions and effective responses to each.
- Use the four step strategy to respond to the hidden meanings and deceptive statements in each pattern. Journal, in the space provided, attacks, what happened and how to handle each pattern with greater skill.
- Use skills, in addition to handling attack patterns, that the final chapters teach. These tips and techniques about body language, charisma, gender-related issues, power, status, and networks, are just as significant as those in the first chapters.
Each chapter contains examples with references and suggested readings.