I didn’t kill him
Day 2: I said I didn’t kill him
Day 3: ok ok I killed him but it’s not like he didn’t deserve it...bastard!
Day 4: Thanks to the guard turning off the light 10 minutes early I can’t see what I’m writing.
Day 5: At breakfast the guy who robbed a child’s piggy bank decided he would take the last of the waffles which I must say I was quite annoyed with so I threatened him. But he threatened to steal my piggy bank so I ran off screaming.
Day 6: I’ve been in here what seems like 29 years. Prison life is hard and it’s very difficult to be a murderer in a prison because the guards won’t let you practice.
Day 7: I worked on the farm today tending to the chickens, they weren’t so bad. Funny how the chickens are free range in a prison.
Day 8: attempted to practice my death grip on a guard today so they took my laptop away from me so I am writing this entry on my hand…to then transfer across to my new laptop which I am ordering from the internet…which I will do by getting my old laptop back...no..no wait.
Day 9: been in here 30 years now... I think...its still pretty new. I saw a bird with a limp today which was most unusual normally anything natural is taken away to keep the moral down. So when Ms Donnan had her baby it was shot.
Day 10: prisons are becoming so overcrowded these days so why don’t they make robbery, murder, burglary etc legal. I’ll never understand these government types!
Day 11: escaped today but I left my laptop so I went back to get it...well otherwise you wouldn’t have a “Day 12” would you?!
Day 12: after I escaped and went back for my computer they found me when I accidentally entered the guard’s barracks.
Day 13: I will succeed. I have another plan. I checked out a book from the library “how to escape from prisons” and “how to become a successful criminal”. The second was just a bit of light reading.
Day 14: I talked to the chickens about my next escape plan. They thought it was clucking brilliant. The book suggested digging a tunnel under the prison walls and escaping that way. So I borrowed a spade and tunnelling hat off one of the guards as “chicken protection equipment” and started using my lunch breaks as preparation time.
Day 15: digging is hard I might have to borrow some dynamite to aid my digging process I'll use the “chicken protection equipment” excuse.
Day 16: managed to get quite a distance now down my tunnel. Unfortunately the chickens have been taken to safety, something about a mad man. Anyway its about 2 o’clock in the morning and I’m about halfway down the tunnel at the moment but I’m almost down to my breakout point..em..lights going out on my tunnelling hat em..hello?..hello?
Day 18: almost out. Digging has become second nature to me now and has taken the place of going to the toilet...which I have forgotten how to do.
Day 19: Broke through the end of my escape tunnel only to find myself in the electric chair room. I was a bit shocked.
Day 20: They have due to my 'wild' temperment. placed me in the maximum security wing. I do not believe it...'wild' it was just friendly play fighting, and they bit me first!!
Day 21: I have misplaced my pen today so I am writing with my own blood. I may need some help getting off the floor as i fear I have run out of ink!
Day 22: Though my earlier attempts of escaping failed I have decided to get out the conventional way, dressing up as a guard.
Day 23: I have been unable to locate a guard uniform so I have had to use my intellect to help me.
Day 24: My monkey costume did not fool the guards and i have been banned from the fancy dress locker. But i managed to steal a french hat before I was caught, there is still hope.