I wavered out onto the pavement,
like the tropical, stale heat of the sidewalk hit me in the face
like a last
insult
I didn’t know where in the world I was.
For a minute, I entertained idea of taking a cab
but I opt to walked, carefully to the nearest street corner
brushing the wall of the high-rise buildings on the right
with the tip of the finger to steady myself
I look at the street sign
then I consult my cognitive map
it was a zillion blocks
away from my comfort zone
Walking never fazed me,
I just set out in the right direction
counting under my breath
and when I walked into the lobby of the imposing structure
I was perfectly sober and my feet swollen.
The lobby was empty
except for a woman dozing in her booth
among the key rings
and silent telephones
I slide in the elevator
and pushed the button
the door folded
shut like the bellows of a noiseless accordion
Then I noticed a smudgy-eyed woman
staring idiotically into my face
It was only me of course
I can appalled to see how used up I looked
There wasn’t a soul in the corridor
So I let myself into my destination
The room was full of smoke
and the doors fixed that I couldn’t open them.
So I opt to stand at the left side of the window
laying my cheek to the woodworks
I could see the busy street
to where the gigantic corporate tower balanced
I could see the red and white lights along the drives
and the dizzying neon signs, staring coldly at me
The
silence depressed me…
I knew perfectly well the cars are making noise,
the people in them, and behind the windows of the buildings
were all making all sort of noise
But I couldn’t hear anything
Perhaps the silence that bugs me is my own silence…
The city hung in my window
flat as a poster
glittering…
blinking…
but it might just as well not have there at all.