ARE TODAY'S
‘SERIAL' RELATIONSHIPS/MARRIAGES A CURE OR A CURSE
More and more individuals choose termination
of their intended long term relationship – electing to exchange their current partner for a new one – and often exchanging their children as well. It's not an emotional stable/healthy situation for kids - and generally emotionally and financially expensive for the adults as well. Why does it happen? (Note: Current divorce rates exceed 50% of formal marriages in the U.S. For the first time in history, the quantity of households with individuals ‘living together' exceeded those of married households.)
There's a new e-book available via the Internet -
Sensuality-Intimacy-Sex – that explores how we use our sensuality to either bond our intended long-term
relationships – or help to destroy/terminate them.
Some of the writings in the collection are very controversial – especially those that challenge our current cultural mandate based on the ‘
Romantic Ideal' – the circa 12th Century myth that trains us to believe and expect that there is only one ‘
Soul-Mate' for each of us in life. The Romantic Ideal also holds that once we find our ‘
One and Only' – we enter into a society-implicit mutual agreement with a partner for ‘
Person Ownership' – each of the partners ‘owns' the other's heart, mind and soul – but most especially owns the other's private body-parts (sexual organs).
In an ‘
Exclusive Coupling' form of
Love Organization (marriage/living together) – no one except the partner, is ever to touch private body-parts with yet another (engage in sensual activities) – forever – ‘Till Death You Part'. You may only engage in sensual activities with yet another – after you terminate your relationship with your current partner and often, best friend. Meaning you can have relationships serially – but not at the same time .
And therein lies the rub, suggest the book. It posits that our actual human physiology doesn't fit our cultural mandate for life-long exclusiveness – to wit, that recent knowledge in neurochemistry (studies of brain chemicals) indicate that the involuntary flow of the ‘chemicals' produced by our bodies that we've been taught mean ‘we are in love' – only keep flowing for a specific individual - for periods as little as three months – to about sixty months .
Not especially good news for ‘Harlequin Romance' freaks and the ‘Happily Ever After' crowd.
There's also a section that deals with so-called ‘
Sensuality Interest Levels' – an individual's desire to engage in sensual activities – stating that some individuals have higher interest levels – others lower levels. And that higher or lower is not better or worse – just different . Relationship issues occur when a higher is exclusively paired with a lower – which is often the cause of cheating, affairs, separations – even divorce.
The book provides three basic indices for self-evaluation of one's sensuality interest levels – and suggests that a partner also takes the self-exam – and then compare the results to identify differences, and hopefully resolve them amicability and sensibly.
Through various short cameos, you'll be ‘walking in the shoes' of individual's living in each of the so-called
Love Organizations:
Exclusive Coupling (marriage/living together)–
Promiscuity (cheating)–
Sensual Hermitage (abstinence)–
Swinging (recreational sex)–
Intimate Best Friends (polyamory). Through the eyes and feelings of various writers, you'll see the ‘Good Sides' of each Love Organization - as well as the 'Not Good Sides' (why people later leave for another Love Organization).
It's a thought-provoking read
for folks interested in stable long-term relationships. The book explicitly states that it ‘provides no answers – only questions. - that any answers must ultimately be provided by each individual'.
As the book attracts more readers, expect religious folks to weigh in – both pro and con. And if in time the ‘questions' actually result in more stable families and less relationship terminations – expect the divorce attorneys and family counselors to also join in the intellectual fray.
The collection of writings was almost ten years in the making with writers composed of each gender, of various ages, and the three different sensual orientations (opposite – same - either). All genders, ages and sensual orientations have the same relationship/sensuality issues to wrestle with.
The 278 page e-book is available for instant download and reading for $6.99 (USD) You can review the book, table of contents, and selections of various writings at: www.Sensuality-Intimacy-Sex.com