The book
He's Just Not That Into You: The Non-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys was originally published in 2004, but still is relevent to people today.
In
He's Just Not That Into You, Greg Behrendt offers his no-nonsense point of view regarding the "reasons" men give to women regarding why they don't want to commit.
In short, the "reasons" that men give are really excuses, as Greg points over and over again. Liz Tuccillo responds to Greg's insight and ads her admittance to times when she has given off a desperate vibe while calling a
Guy and not waiting for him to call. Those
relationships have not worked out for her.
Main Chapters, and My Interpretations of Them (What I learned):
1 He's Just Not That Into You If He's Not Asking You Out
A
man that seems to be nice, friendly, and polite to you and hangs out with you all the time does really like you. It's just that he is not into you as a girlfriend, or even less he does not think of you as a potential marriage partner at all.
2 He's Just Not That Into You If He's Not Calling You
If a woman could get this concept then they can save their selves months-or even years of grief. This is probably the most common gateway to an unhappy marriage for most women.
3 He's Just Not That Into You If He's Not Dating You
Duh, if a guy does not want to date you he is just using you until he finds someone better. He may be even having
sex with you but if he is not taking you out, never wants to meet your friends or family, or does not talk about wanting to have a future with you he is not
that into you.
4 He's Just Not That Into You If He's Not Having Sex with You
A man will often date a woman and hang out with her but not want to have sex with her. He won't even give her that much indication that he is attracted to her, and will often not tell her that and not want to hurt her feelings.
5 He's Just Not That Into You If He's Having Sex with Someone Else This should be a no-brainer, but it is one of those "he just made a mistake" kind of issues. This is one that women get tripped up on all the time, as serious as it it. (By the way, same goes for women.)
6 He's Just Not That Into You If He Only Wants to See You When He's Drunk
Just observe your man and see how he acts around you. When does he make his long-winded professions of love to you, or when does he make promises of making a life with you? If it's usually only when he's had at least a few beers or more? Then you have every right to be concerned. And you are almost blind not to be.
7 He's Just Not That Into You If He Doesn't Want to Marry You
Unless you are perfectly content as a woman never to be married this one should bother you quite a bit. Okay, so women have their flaws but they can improve on them and find a man who will want to marry them.
8 He's Just Not That Into You If He's Breaking Up with You
If a man does not want to be with you he will break up with you. Plain and simple. Don't take him back. (This is a hard, because most people want to give someone a chance.)
9 He's Just Not That Into You If He's Disappeared on You
If he has not even contacted you in a long time or has not returned his phone calls he is not worth your love. Worse yet, he is not even around often enough to receive it. The highest insult of all to a woman is when a man abandons her without explanation. (Greg points out that the silence is her answer.)
10 He's Just Not That Into You If He's Married (and Other Insane Variations of Being Unavailable)
I will add this: It doesn't matter if you were with him before he was with the other woman he married. He has no respect for you if he expects you to reduce yourself to the standard of an infidel.
11 He's Just Not That Into You If He's a Selfish Jerk, a Bully, or a Really Big Freak
A man who thinks of himself and what his interests are more than he cares about yours is no good. Worse yet, a man who is abusive, mean, and cruel does not deserve your time (same for women).
12 Don't Listen to These Stories
This chapter summarizes yet more lies and excuses that men give when they are in a
relationship with a woman they feel less that love or utmost admiration for.
Even as I write this review I can admit it is easier said than done to try to follow the
advice in this book. I have learned from it, however.
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