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Shvoong Home>Books>Guidance & Self Improvement>THE HARD QUESTIONS: 100 ESSENTIAL QUESTIONS TO ASK BEFORE YOU SAY I DO Summary

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THE HARD QUESTIONS: 100 ESSENTIAL QUESTIONS TO ASK BEFORE YOU SAY I DO

Book Review by: CatherineGallagher    

Original Author: Piver, Susan
This book is the ideal reference on how to deal with the fear of ultimate commitment--marriage, for life, till death do you
part. It contains the questions to help you truly understand yourself, your needs and desires, your hangups and assumptions, and the reasons you may be nervous and uneasy about, or terrified of, commitment, as a couple and as individuals within the relationship. It also has methods of dealing with these difficulties. (One of her beautiful insights is that although one can not necessarily promise to feel love for someone every moment throughout one''s life, one CAN promise honestly to ACT LOVINGLY towards them.)
There is an Introduction giving her own story, and how and why she developed these questions, and why she and her beloved came to the point of answering them. Following this there are chapters of questions on the various topics: Home, Money, Work, Sex, Health and Food, Family, Children, Community and Friends, and Spiritual Life. Then she gives a beautiful afterword, and her simple acknowledgements.
One of the deepest insight I have ever received about relationships is one that I found here:  it is that one commits to ACT LOVINGLY, and an insight into what that means. Another great point that comes through in this book is that love and honesty are not only compatible, but that one of these can, and does, create the other, when we human beings respect each other, and are kind.
Published: August 14, 2007
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