'Make
peace with your parents first to become a successful person' says a motivational guru to his readers.Success in
love,
sex,marriage,work are essential ingradients to lead a life filled with
happiness,peace of mind,
prosperity and fulfillment. According to Dr.Bloomfield, there are two sets of parents in a person. One inside the head and the other in the outer world, the real parents in physical form. Even though the real parents are dead, the parents or parental messages are alive in the psyche of the human being. The internal parents try to influence at every crucial stage and decisions one makes in life. The messages of the parents may be in agreement, disagreement and in conflict with the wishes of the person. And this determines whether one is successful or not in their efforts or struck-up with indecisiveness which leads to emotional turmoil and procastinaton.
The book starts with making peace with parents a personal challenge and assesses if we are free of resentments, buried angers and relaxed when we get together with our parents. How present is affecting one's relationship with self, authority figures, own sexuality and also if the relationship with lover and spouse is free of blames and resentments.The expected results out of reading the book such as release of resentment,enjoyng the parents exactly they are,improvement in communications and relationships with one's children and others,dying, effective self-parenting are highlighted.
Once the sources for resentments are recognised, the persons are healed through forgiveness. Different exercises such as visualising the parent,writing a letter, taking the support of a sibling to verbalise the feelings one is holding for over the years are there for all of us to use.Expressing your anger and love with your family constructively, dealing with 'Dictator parents' and other difficult parents is the core of the book.
One full chapter is on unravelling the sexual messages received from parents as to how you are told to hide or express your sexuality, separating love from sex, allowing or denying feelings of affection, attitues towards relaxation and sensuality.Give yourself permisson to pleasure,rekindle your romance, making your own love rules,communicating your needs and requirements to your partner sharing fun in and out of bed are things that unlock your powers of pleasure.
Parental aging, dying and death are crucial stages that influence our emotions. By learning to deal with these challenges our understanding level of our parents can be taken to higher levels and attain peace of mind.
Dr.Bloomfield espouses principles to become ones own best parent through taking charge of life,self-nurturing,seeing problems as opportunities, affirming oneself and doing less to accomplish more. Then again there are principles of retraining oneself through reexaming the upbringing. fnding positive role models and having weekly family meetings o become one's own best parent.
Once there is peace inside ones head, the outer world is but its reflection. The course one takes to win life is then is as natural as a flowing river.
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