Both men and women are immersed in a culture that values achievement – and rewards self reliance and individual
freedom. But the role of women in (an achievement-oriented) society has not been properly understood. Though the education system prepares both men and women equally for careers, and a large number of women have been trained for various professions, the dominant culture continues to regard femininity and individual achievement as desirable but mutually exclusive. And despite the removal of many legal / educational barriers for women, the psychological barrier is perhaps the most difficult to overcome…
Many women are afraid that success in a competitive environment will lead to negative consequences – such as social rejection and the (perceived) loss of one’s femininity. This, the author regards as a “fear of success”. Women may not be rejected outright, but they are praised for behaving like men! This is because many people (subconsciously) connect women with certain characteristics and occupations. The author feels that society has not been able to fully reconcile personal achievement and accomplishment with the ideals of femininity. And the more successful or independent a woman becomes, the greater the disconnect between precept and practice.
The author feels that women who defy the convention of the feminine ideal have to pay a price – in terms of anxiety, and in terms of (dis) approval of their fellow men and women. This problem is particularly acute when women pursue an independent career. Faced with a conflict situation, many women compromise by simply not competing enough. The author says that the aggressive nature of competition cannot be denied, for the success of one often leads to the failure of the other. But the (perceived) essence of femininity consists in avoiding aggressive behavior altogether! This inconsistency between the ideal of femininity and successful achievement is so deeply embedded in society that success is not followed by social acceptance.
The author summarizes the reasons why women sometimes seem to avoid success as:
- Fear of social rejection,
- Concerns about one’s (perceived) femininity,
- Denial.
Typical female behavior, says the author, is thus very different from typical male behavior. This is especially so in a competitive / aggressive environment. Though it would be unfair to generalize - as personal and situational factors also come into play - the author feels that many women perform best in work settings that are non-confrontational and non-competitive.