Sears' most recent ad campaign of a High School Musical collection
failed to attract the coveted macho (but still letting
mom pick out
their shirts) demographic. To counteract the prissiness, the brand has
signed a deal with the U.S. Army that will allow the insignia of the
troops to be placed on civilian apparel for the first time, making it
even easier for teens in the Midwest to jump from mallrat to Iraqi
target, since shooting guns and driving SUVs around in baggy pants is
the same no matter what continent you're on. And Generation Kill made
it look like so much fun.
Usually the impetus for joining the Army
has something to do with patriotism or financial straits; turning it
into a fashion statement is diabolically genius in a way only mid-range
affordable department stores can be. (By the way, that sound you hear
isn't gunshots, but the noise Chico's executives make as they
vigorously slap their hands to their foreheads for not thinking of the
idea first.)
Hey, at least it's for a good cause: Money from the
"authentic lifestyle reinterpretations" line will go towards Sears'
"Heroes at Home" program, which provides house renovations to military
families. For a down payment of $11.99 today, you can get a return
investment as soon as your kid goes off to war, dies, and leaves you
with a broken home. Success!