Are marriages made in heaven?
From the childhood days, an Indian mind is implanted with the idea that the family is the set-up arranged by divine gods. It is an unaltered fate for a particular man to marry a particular woman. Hence it is a common proverb among Indians that the marriages are made in heaven.
Treating marriages, as the holy tie-ups is a centuries-old Indian tradition .In this land of such unique tradion, the urban life is now doing havoc. The lack of communication between the couple, work-related stress, and lack of sexual interest are all making heavier toll on marital relationships resulting in increasing rate of divorce in India.
In this interesting article, ‘Marriage umpires’ published in India today, December 5,2005, the writers inform us how a number of marriage councilors or psychotherapists or clinical councilors are doing the job of recovering the troubled couples. They reopen the blocked channels of communication. These umpires encourage the couple to strike a balance between work and home and teach the couple to practice to replace the over-reaction by higher levels of tolerance and patience.
One councilor advises the couple to spend enough time together, by practicing such as yoga, jogging, playing music etc.the councilors say that the counseling was not all a quick-fix, formula-driven process and they just help the couple to become better judges of themselves and their situations.
As author shobhaa de said, the marriage counseling is not the solution to all the problems of the strained relationship. But it helps’ create a neutral platform for couples to articulate their feelings’. For this, an objective perspective of a qualified councilor is invaluable.
How are these councilors qualified? There is no any certification in marriage counseling in India.psychologists, psychiatrists and social workers trained in marriage counseling act as marriage counselors.
Anyway, the old feudal concept that a woman must live as a slave to a man is changing and the welcome development is the growing awareness to maintain equality in the family.