Oh, stop it.
Don’t hate her for being beautiful. And an
heiress to a huge hotel empire. And prancing around in 5-inch Manolo Blahnik heels. Do you think it’s
easy living as a size 0, being IQ-challenged and an author?
It was bound to happen, people. Adding to an already long list of trashy books, Paris Hilton decided to come out with her own:
Confessions of an Heiress: A Tongue-in-Chic Peek Behind the Pose.
Let’s dive deep into Paris’ mind.
Silence. This may take a while.
Ah, yes, I think I found something.
Paris on sleep patterns: “Never, ever wake up before 10; never go to bed before three.
Normal hours are for normal people. You never want to be normal. Anyone can be normal. How boring. I’m yawning.”
Paris on the male species: “I like guys who are hot and funny and sweet and loyal and honest, and don’t lie or cheat on you—mostly someone who will make me laugh ’cause I love to laugh. My friends keep telling me I don’t have one type of guy, I have had so many types of boyfriends. I like all kinds of guys—they just have to be hot!!!”
Really?
tell us more, Paris.
“Since all smart women
know that men are just really desserts—not the main course—why have only one—when you can have many?”
Wow. Ladies, had we known this advice, life would have been so different throughout history, wouldn’t it?
But wait, there’s more. Confessions not only includes more than Paris’ thoughts on men and money.
There’s also Paris on weight management: “NEVER ever drink Diet Coke, Diet Coke is for fat people. Don’t eat lots of carbs like pizza, spaghetti and if you exercise, NEVER admit it.”
You didn’t know any of this, did you? Admit to exercising? Oh, please. That’s like admitting to cheating on taxes.
Paris on the hardships of travel: “Having a stewardess spill something on you can totally ruin your flight. I hate rude stewardesses. It’s like ‘Hello, I’m paying, be nice to me.’”
Again, Paris on the subject of men: “Never be too easy. If you’re too easy, a guy knows he has you.”
Uh, huh. You tell ’em, girl.
So if you’re lacking some understanding of life’s little lessons, pick up Confessions, and see for yourself how low your own IQ can go reading this heiress’ confessions of her “real self.”