The Unadulterated Cat by Terry Pratchett, with cartoons by Gray Jolliffe, is one of those books that are an extremely light
read that take no time at all to read (well it took me three days on and off, but that’s quick for me!). It’s also one of those books that you can pick up, go to any page, and read for a few minutes whenever you want something to make you laugh.
Subtitled “The Campaign for Real
Cats”, it is presented as a sort of manual for owners of such cats. First we have an introduction to this campaign, then getting started, how to get a cat, types of cat… First thing to do of course is be able to recognise a Real cat - some take more recognising than others. (Easily recognisable is that type that with a face that looks as though it had been put in a vice and hit repeatedly by a hammer with a sock round it . Later on the book discusses the naming of cats (it suggests very short names that carry across a room when shouted, and of course a name that you wouldn’t be embarrassed to shout in public if your cat had gone missing and you were trying to find him / her). Illnesses are discussed, training and disciplining (or that lack of this being a possibility), cats in history, and other interesting titbits like the theory of a cat travelling the world, and an exploration of the quantum physics behind Schrodinger’s famous experiment involving a box, a cat, some poison, and other stuff… In fact the conclusion is that all cats are able to commute in hyperspace, thus explaining how they can be found comfortably curled up underneath your bed even though you definitely put them out of the house not long ago…
You get the picture – it’s about all the
things we love about cats, and the things we can’t help loving them for despite the fact that these things they do are not exactly loveable in themselves. You definitely should be a cat lover to properly enjoy this – there are lots of little home truths in here that you wouldn’t find particularly
funny if you hadn’t seen them happen yourselves. The cartoons accompanying the
text are always relevant (well, a couple of the cartoons I couldn’t work out the relevance of, but that’s probably just me being thick), and are amusing in themselves, more so when they directly relate to a passage of text (which is quite often). Though it’s impossible to describe a
cartoon in words, I am about to attempt to do so. (In fact every time I’ve ever read that it’s impossible to explain a cartoon in words, it’s always followed by an effort to do just that. Odd, innit?!?)
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Cat with extremely innocent expression on it’s face looing at the reader and saying, “Knocked over the dustbin? Who, ME??”
Cat on what it quite obviously a kitchen floor, looking at reader with a very impatient look on his face (tapping one foot, no doubt), and saying: “I’m here now and I want feeding NOW”.
Cat in garden looking at a tortoise slowly ambling by, with the cat studying it and thinking: “A mobile meat pie??”
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In fact the top two examples really demonstrate what I mentioned earlier about being a cat however (particularly, a cat owner, or at least someone who has owned a cat in the past) – in that case, you’ll have seen that oh-so-innocent look when they’ve done something wrong or that belligerent glare when you’re not feeding them when they want to be fed. Of course, the expression “Cat Owner” is in itself wrong, as the book explains that we are merely pink blobs that nature has provided to do useful things for the cats, such as open fridges and cans of cat food.
Gray Jolliffe, the cartoonist, has a style that reminded me of the sort of daily satirical cartoon you often see in newspapers. He is the creator of the “Wicked Willie” series and has published other books including “How to Be a Happy Cat”.
The text in the book is funny, as you would expect from fantasy fiction maestro Terry Pratchett. In some places it is extremely funny but throughout the book it is humorous– it raises a smile but not necessarily a laugh. The level of humour (and, occasionally, the language) is aimed very much at adults rather than children, and obviously at other cat lovers. There are a number of personal experiences, which add to the book considerably – it’s not just a work of humour fiction, it’s funny because it’s based so closely on real life – and sometimes it is actual real life.
Overall The Unadulterated Cat is good stuff but nothing really amazing. If you like cats then you’re sure to enjoy this book, but otherwise it probably won’t do a great deal for you.