A man suffered a serious heart attack and had by-pass surgery. He awakened to find himself in the care of the nuns at a Catholic
Hospital.
As he was recovering, a
nun asked how he was
going to pay the bill for hospitalisation.
He
replied in a raspy voice, " No health insurance."
The nun asked if he had any money in the bank. He said that no money in the bank.
The nun asked," Do you have any relative who could help you?"
He said," Just a spinster sister, who is a nun."
The nun slightly perturbed said," Nuns are not spinsters. The Nuns are married to God."
The patient replied," Then
send the bill to my brother-in-law.
2. An
engineer died and ended up in Hell. Soon he became dissatisfied with the level of comfort in Hell, began designing and building flush toilets, airconditioners, and escalators etc.
The engineer was a pretty popular guy.
One day God called to Satan and said with a sneer," So how is it going down there in Hell?"
Satan replied," Hey! Things are great. we''ve got flush toilets, airconditioners, escalators etc.There is no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."
God exclaimed," What? you have got an engineer? That is a mistake... He should have never gotten down there in the first place. Send him back here?"
" No way." replied Satan," I like having an engineer on the staff and I am keeping him here."
God threatened." Send him back and now.. Or I will sue."
Satan laughed and answered," Yeah. Right. And just where are you going to get a lawyer?"