Write your abstract
here.
Ways things would be different if Microsoft was
headquartered in South Georgia
1. Their #1 product would be Microsoft Winders
2. Instead of an hourglass icon, you'd get an empty
beer
bottle
3. Occasionally you'd bring up a window that was
covered
with a Hefty bag
4. Dialog boxes would give you the
choice of "Ahh-
ight"
or "Naw"
5. Instead of "Ta-Da!", the opening sound would be
Dueling
Banjos
6.The "Recycle Bin" in Winders '95 would be an
outhouse
7. Whenever you pulled up the Sound Player you'd
hear a
digitized drunk redneck
yelling "Freebird!"
8. Instead of "Start Me Up", the Winders '95 theme
song
would be Achy-Breaky Heart
9. PowerPoint would be named "ParPawnt"
10. Microsoft's programming tools would be "Vishul
Basic"
and "Vishul C++"
11. Winders 95 logo would incorporate the
Confederate
Flag
12. Microsoft Word would be just that: one word
13. Instead of WWW servers, Microsoft would have
KKK
servers.
14. New Shutdown WAV: "Y'all come back now!"
15. Instead of VP, Microsoft big shots would be
called "Cuz"
16. Hardware could be repaired using parts from an
old
Trans Am
17. Microsoft Office
replaced with Micr'sawft
Henhouse
18. Four words: Daisy Dukes Screen Saver
19. Well, the first thing you know, old Bill's a
billionaire...
20. Speadsheet software would include examples to
inventory
dead cars in your front yard
21. Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor pull
Simulator
22. Microsoft CEO: Bubba Gates
23. Instead of computer golf, the games of choice
would
be:
a. Interactive WWF Rasslin' (That's wrestling
for
you
culturally deprived types)
b. Beer bottle toss at roadsigns
c. Mud Boggin'
d. 'Bacca spittin' at insects
24. Instead of MS "virus scan", it would be
MS "Cooties
(Lice) Rinse"
25. Not "config.sys" and 'autoexec.bat"--
but "conjugate
w/sis" and "autoparts.bunch"
26. Instead of error tones, misstruck keys would be
met
with sound of "Aww Sheeit"
27. Solitare would offer choice of "number of
players"
28. Icon for mail trashcan shaped like a Dipsey
Dumpster.
29. All shapes in Tetris would be same-sized
squares.
30. Favorite adult www homepage would involve
pictures
of "sexy" farm animals...