The institution of
marriage is highly acclaimed by Islam. If we log in to establish a marital relationship, we need to abide by the terms and conditions of simple Nikaah, as laid down by Islam, which we often forget and commit to violate the Sharia (Islamic principle). The most obvious question is –whether Islam allows love marriage or not! Of course, Islam doesn’t deny the scope for love marriage but love should be according to sharia (Islamic principle), which is now a days a rare phenomenon where love is always substituted with lust. Islam allows a meeting between a man and woman in the presence of guardians if both are willing to marry each other. Even a Muslim girl can propose a boy whom she knows is of religious, honest, and sincere. Mutual consent is prerequisite to form a marital relationship. But, today most of
parents or guardians are scared of bagging a bad name in the society and they themselves arrange marriage for their daughter and son. Most of girls and boys readily accept what is accepted by their parents and give testimony of being obedient to them. But the role of parents in selecting a life partner (Sharik-e-haytt) for their son is one of advice, not dictation. Allah has not given them the right to force their son to marry any particular girl. If a son wants to marry a girl whom he likes and knows to be religious and of strong faith, and his parents oppose this marriage for reasons of their own, then he incurs no sin in going ahead with that marriage.
Whether love or arranged marriage, Islam has compulsorily laid down Nikaah for each and every eligible Muslim, which ought to be solemnized in the simplest way. But regret to say, weddings among Muslims these days is a grand affair. As a resident of Rourkela, Orissa, I’ve seen all type of rites and rituals that have crept in the town. The Mehendi ceremony is the latest innovation. A blast of music with crackers followed by dance in front of
groom’s car is part of the show. And, then of course the magnificent buffet system is arranged in a popular hotel! Some weddings put on display, various types of desserts to be eaten after a meal of spicy oily chicken biryani and mutton, of course followed by delicious ice cream.
Bride’s
family spends lavishly to welcome the groom and a huge crowd of guests behind. Thus, a big chunk of wealth is puffed into decoration, prodigal party attended by hundreds of invitees, a good variety of foods & sweets, and so on. Alas, how often we are misinterpreting the concept of simple Nikaah in Islam! And, look here our greed to violate Sharia is not end rather it starts from here by outlining the demand for
dowry.
When I discuss about dowry, I’m not referring to the kind of dowry where demands are listed in a piece of paper during nuptial discussion. My only concern is about the dowry, which is not demanded but expected by groom’s parents. In today’s era, hypocrisy of Muslim groom’s family can go to any extent. Some of them appear to be totally opposed to dowry but once marriage is solemnized, the bride suffers through the constant whispering and taunting from either groom’s parents, or relatives. Such a dowry is rampant among rich kalal society (a Muslim caste in Rourkela, (Orissa) and some parts of Bihar). In such a Muslim society, the bride's value is measured by the weight of the gold she is wearing and the groom's value is measured by daala (A
gift given by groom’s family).
How unfortunate that we price ourselves to be marketed. The fact is not shrouded in mystery that an engineer/well settled business boy in Muslim society is obviously more expensive than a common graduate, and you can better judge what would be the price of a doctor and IAS, who are almost rare in Muslims! The most recent trend is that girl’s parents look for Muslim boys who are service holders with handsome salary. Their this preference is almost contrary to Islam, which gives highest preference to Tijarat (Business). Parents’ chests get swollen with ide if they are able to buy an engineer or doctor for their daughter. In this market, there are many to sell their sons and there are still many more to stake a bid for their daughters. How often we auction the Islamic principle of Nikaah!
Muslims in order to justify their greed often cite that there is nothing bad if bride’s parents gift their daughter willingly. But a gift is something that strengthens the bond of friendship between two people. Dowry is not a “gift” given along with the bride by a bride’s family to the bridegroom, which is used as a tool of coercion and greed in Muslim societies. Our Prophet (May peace be upon his soul) gave some of the essential things in token of love for his daughter Fatima. And, how often we misinterpret his example by giving TV, fridge,€, luxurious cushion, etc. How often we forget the words of Prophet (May peace be upon him), who once said, “The best of the marriages is one which is least burdensome in the financial sense to the families of the bride and the groom."
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