It’s 5.30 am exactly and I am now home writing this.
No I do not have a late night obsession with War Lord Games,
nor do I have a paticular special hankering of gazing at the moon. I work at a nightclub and here is a fascinating glimpse of the world of bar
people, who I must say commend respect. Respect for working late hours, and respect from you, dear reader, as we are the providers of your refreshing beverages.
RANDOM STUFF
Tonight here is an example of the wacky stuff that you notice:
- Tonight someone was ranting to me “Jesus didn’t heal the Lepars. The lepers!! And what of the spots on their foreheads?”
- A guy tried to tell me that, while he “liked girls..(though he liked computers on par, if not more) and if he ever had a girlfriend, he should like us both. Um,.. Thankyou.
- Two drunk customers tried to give me their wallets, which I graciously refused.
- Glo-sticks? Save it for God’s Kitchen, not your local.
- Two blokes taking tequila shots and squirting the lemon in their eye while sprinking the salt.
TIPPING
Why would you wait angrily for twenty cents change to grab?
Yes I know we are students and probably not all of a Hilton trust fund, but come on. It’s just degrading to be excessively tight.
Tipping is not a wide practise for all, but if you feel like someone is doing a good job tip your bar
person instead of losing your $1.80 down the taxi seat on the way home.
Also, beware of drug dealers trying to tip you obscene amounts of money. By the way, probably beware of drug dealers full stop. How to tell if a customer may be a drug dealer? He comes in an ill fitting yet expensive suit, then the next night looks comfortable in a ripped flannel. He brags he has more money than your nightclub, but when you enquire as to how he obtained his good fortune, he will not disclose.
By the way, if a beer is $3.00, then that normally means it will cost you 3 Australian dollars to have one. DO not try to barter with your bar person, “2.50?” “2.70?” “Aww come on, here’s 70 cents- best deal you’ll get for my Carlton draft.” Save it for a Bali market, Punk. Unfortunately, nightclubs are not a charity and not a means of financial compromise.
TRYING TO INITIATE DATING
Pick Up Lines-
For some reason, bad pick up lines seem to be first and foremost tested on bar people before reaching the wider community.
And especially non creative lines are tested on the bar population. Genuis wit like, “Um… my mate wants to know…. Um…. He’s um yeh so what do you think?” Back to the Blu-light guys.
NB
The question, “What time do you finish?/What time do you knock off?” does not directly affect the person asking. And if a bar person is chatty enough to reveal what time they may finish their long hard shift, the person asking should know that this is of no relevance to them. Thus, to avoid any confusion I have seen the recipient of this question answer “Never. Working all night” and that seems to do the job.
THE HOURS
Yes its long hours. But it suits those who love the nightlife. It is a way to justify a party lifestyle, because ‘thats what you do.’
Appreciating pizza even more
Being able to recite the words to info-mercials.
However, you are normally not up for ‘Good Morning Australia.” But, don’t despair, there is always the chance to watch Huey and his butterery Bilo baking in the arvo.
SEEING THE UGLY REALITY OF IT ALL
Seeing how silly people look when they’re drunk. Yet that still doesn’t deter me!
Seeing how slow peoples faces move when they’r drunk. Sometimes looks contorted indeed.
Seeing people fall over, especially girls. Yet again, this still happens to me.
Seeing guys get loud and abusive
Seeing girls get loud and abusive
HUMAN BEHAVIOUR
Interesting to watch people in a nightclub. You see the poor unconfident guy who the drunken girl in a Supre dress takes advantage of financially.
You see some people who are so insecure that they cannot stand by themselves and have a drink. Instead you seefingers flickering important messages or invisible messages, girls playing with hair, eyes riveted and darting trying to look important. You see the arrogant trouble maker happy enough to try and proposition you around his footy mates yet then look sheepish and scared when he’s by himself.