THE LITTLE ANGEL
- Shakti Koushik
As she sat in the bedroom that day she felt as if she heard her son cry.
She ran to the children’s room only to find the empty cradle. Her tear stained eyes surveyed the room. As she looked at the cartoons which she had painted for her baby.
Suddenly she felt a strange jolt inside as if a huge lightening from the sky to the earth had struck her. “Where did he go? Did I really loose him?” she
thought.” He was right here “ She thought as she touched her belly.” He was inside me. I felt him kicking inside. He had cried out when he was born and that was music to my ears”, she thought. Suddenly, this huge envelope of love engulfed her. It was the most beautiful feeling that she had ever experienced.
Gautam and Vinni looked happy after so many years. It was as if somebody had breathed life into their marriage. Finally life was getting back to normal. Finally something good had happened and was here to stay. Vinni was expecting the family way. Gautam looked happy. A week , after the baby was born. Vinni went to the kid’s room. It was time to nurse the baby. She started humming while nursing him. Suddenly, she felt the baby’s hand become very cold. He stopped sucking. She saw that his lips had now become blue. She quickly called the doctor; she frantically began rubbing the baby’s hands and feet. She called Gautam and rushed the baby to the hospital. The last thing that she remembered was that the doctor came out of the room with a sullen look and said,” I am sorry”.
She stood still, eyes wide open, her body stiff. God had slapped her across the face. It hit her for the first time what all she had lost. As she broke down and cried feeling lost in her own home. She realized that she was alone. She could just hear herself howling until she fell asleep completely exhausted.
But she thought" We fought so much. So much that although we talked, laughed and shared a bedroom, she thought. Gautam felt averse to her. Of course he never said that but it was obvious. He stopped getting intimate with her and if she showed any desire for him, He would laugh and say,” I feel ticklish, honey “. And somewhere between these words a look of disgust crossed his face. He tried to cover it up with a laugh but it gave him away.
She tried stuff to win back his love. She dressed the way he wanted her to. She cooked his favorite food .She tried not to offend him. But, it was as if the love wire had fused. Nothing seemed to work. After trying very hard for a very long time trying to win back his love, she tried to confront him. So one evening she asked him, “ Why aren’t we intimate any more?” He remained silent and thoughtful. She knew that he knew the reason, but he chose not to say it . He just managed an,” I Don’t know.” After this conversation, her need to know kept increasing. She could not think of anything. She could not sleep, could not eat, and did not feel like cooking or doing any chores. So week after week she kept pestering him to tell the reason.
For some odd reason she felt that this would liberate them and all the unpleasantness will vanish and their joys will be similar to their first 6 months of marriage.
After weeks of coaxing him. One day he finally said, “ I don’t love you in the way you want me to, I am not attracted to you that way anymore”. That was the first time God had slapped her across her face. She felt unhappy and undesirable .She cried for weeks about this.
May be this conversation and her sadness made him think and try
One day , cupid struck and she realized 2 months later that she was pregnant. They looked happier than before. But after the baby passed away, it was as if the bridge that had joined them had broken. They lived physically in the same house but mentally they were like 2 islands in 2 different oceans. He started working long hours. She mechanically finished the household chores and then watched television endlessly. Nearly a month had gone by without muchconversation except the regular Yes and No.
They had not talked about anything unless it was absolutely necessary for weeks. The television was on. As usual advertisements started. Ad then and add showing beautiful fat round babies came. Suddenly Gautam, said excitedly,’Hey Vinni, wasn’t our baby as cute as this one?” then he stopped… she looked at him… it was as if they had been in a vaccumised jar till then and suddenly the jar had been opened and oxygen filled their lungs. God had slapped them awake from their deep slumber. For the first time after loosing their baby they hugged each other and cried. Everything changed in that moment. All the broken wires were joined again. They became a couple again.
As Vinni thought about all this, she could only reach one conclusion,” God had sent his little angel to bring them together again. Their little angel blessed them with togetherness.