Write your abstract
here.
REDMOND, WA. In an effort to dispell confusion
surrounding
Microsoft's
upcoming new version of Windows,
Microsoft
annouced today that it would rename the upgrade --
formerly
known as Windows 95 -- to WinEver.
"There seemed to be a great deal of anxiety about
when
the
product would ship. We felt it was in the best
interest
of
our users to free them from this anxiety," said a
Microsoft
spokesperson who requested to remain anonymous.
Industry analysts were quick to praise the
decision. "WinEver will free Windows users from
space
and
time constraints. It also gives Windows a new
timeless
quality", said a member of Ziff-Davis Publishing's
Editorial Staff. "This is precisely why OS/2 is
failing
in
the marketplace -- they have failed to deliver a
strategy
for their product."
When asked when WinEver would be available, a
Microsoft
spokesperson said "Whenever." The spokesperson
added "It
really doesn't matter since WinEver is destined to
be
the
most powerful and popular operating system ever."
Market
and industry analysts quickly agreed adding
that "WinEver
has already revolutionized the industry."
A spokesperson from IBM disagreed
however. "Microsoft
is
still trying to sell a product that doesn't exist.
IBM
has
been shipping a 32-bit operating system since 1992
that
runs todays DOS, Windows and OS/2 applications in a
stable
32-bit environment with an advanced user interface.
WinEver -- or WhatEver it's called now -- still
relies
on
DOS device drivers and is not a true 32-bit OS
unlike
OS/2." He added that "users who think that WinEver
will
have no
compatibility problems will be in for a
surprise."
Most users seem to remain unconvinced
however. "WinEver
will run everything and it won't have any bugs or
compatibility problems because it's from Microsoft.
Why
should I buy OS/2 which is less than perfect when
WinEver
is right around the corner?"
In a related story, IBM has reportedly been working
on
incorporating WinEver compatibility into a future
version
of OS/2. Microsoft was quick to express fear,
uncertainty
and doubt in regards to IBM's chances of
success. "IBM
is
chasing a moving target and without the source
code".
Industry analysts and the media agreed adding that
this
is
yet another example of "OS/2's failing strategy."