Write your abstract
here.
WASHINGTON-The
federal government was sold today to
CompuGov, a high-tech consortium that includes
Microsoft,
IBM, AT&T, Northern Telecom, Sony and several other
corporate giants in Europe and Japan.
"It's the ultimate vindication of the Free Market
philosophy," said a high-ranking Administration
official. "This deal is the logical extension of
lessons
from the computer and telecommunications industries.
What's
government but the processing and transmission of
information?"
Effective immediately, the popular vote was ended at
the
federal level. Instead Americans will be able to buy
Stakeholder Shares. Those with sufficient numbers of
Shares
may attend CompuGov board meetings in Tokyo. Members of
Congress each received 10,000 Stakeholder Shares and
Golden
Parachute protection--in addition to extra Shares
reflecting the sizes of past campaign donations from
Political Action Committees run by CompuGov members.
CompuGov announced the spin-off of most nondefense
assets
and the dismissal of 75 percent of the federal
workforce.
Tennessee entrepreneur Chris Whittle will buy the
Department of
Education, for example, while Humana will
purchase the Department of
Health and Human Services.
"We regret the need for downsizing," a CompuGov
spokesperson said, "but education and health have been
lacking as profit centers. "They just are not part of
our
corporate mission. Our role is simply to protect our
customers against force and fraud."
Asked about the pending spin-off of the Securities and
Exchange Commission to New York businessman John Gotti,
the
spokesperson said: "We must always be open to the
wisdom of
the Free Market. If Mr. Gotti can make the SEC more
responsive to the needs of business, I see no reason
why we
could not also sell him the Justice Department."
Final negotiations are continuing between CompuGov and
the
individual states, with deals expected shortly. Only
Massachusetts is balking.
"The consensus is that the Free Enterprise system is
best,"
said the CompuGov spokesperson. "America's big mistake
was
in simply trying to get government out of the economy.
The
best solution is to get government out of government."
...
More reviews about the Microsoft Led Consortium Takes Over Government