Write your abstract
here.
Picard "Mr. LaForge, have you had any success with
your
attempts at
finding a weakness in the Borg? And Mr.
Data,
have you been able to access their command
pathways?"
Geordi"Yes,
Captain. In fact, we found the answer
by
searching through our archives on late Twentieth-
century
computing technology."
Geordi presses a key, and a logo appears on the
computer
screen.
Riker looks puzzled. "What the hell
is 'Microsoft'?"
Data turns to answer. "Allow me to explain. We will
send
this program, for some reason called 'Windows',
through
the
Borg command pathways. Once inside their root
command
unit,
it will begin consuming system
resources at an
unstoppable
rate."
Picard "But the Borg have the ability to adapt.
Won't
they
alter their processing systems to increase their
storage
capacity?"
Data "Yes, Captain. But when 'Windows' detects
this, it
creates a new version of itself known as
an 'upgrade'.
The
use of resources increases exponentially with each
iteration. The Borg will not be able to adapt
quickly
enough. Eventually all of their processing ability
will
be
taken over and none will be available for their
normal
operational functions."
Picard "Excellent work. This is even better than
that 'unsolvable geometric shape' idea."
. . . 15 Minutes Later . . .
Data "Captain, We have successfully installed
the 'Windows'
in the command unit and as expected it immediately
consumed
85% of all resources. We however have not received
any
confirmation of the expected 'upgrade'."
Geordi "Our scanners have picked up an increase in
Borg
storage and CPU capacity to compensate, but we
still
have
no indication of an 'upgrade' to compensate for
their
increase."
Picard "Data, scan the history banks again and
determine if
their is something we have missed."
Data "Sir, I believe there is a reason for the
failure
in
the 'upgrade'. Appearently the Borg have
circumvented
that
part of the plan by not sending in their
registration
cards.
Riker "Captain we have no choice. Requesting
permission
to
begin emergency escape sequence 3F . . ."
Geordi, excited "Wait, Captain; I just detected
their
CPU
capacity has suddenly dropped to 0% !"
Picard "Data, what does your scanners show?"
Data "Appearently the Borg have found the
internal 'Windows' module named 'Solitaire' and it
has
used
up all the CPU capacity."
Picard "Lets wait and see how long this 'solitaire'
can
reduce their functionality."
. . . Two Hours Pass . . .
Riker "Geordi, what's the status on the Borg?"
Geordi "As expected the Borg are attempting to re-
engineer
to compensate for increased CPU and storage
demands,
but
each time they successfully increase resources I
have
setup
our closest deep space monitor beacon to transmit
more 'windows' modules from something called
the 'Microsoft
fun-pack'.
Picard "How much time will that buy us ?"
Data "Current Borg solution rates allow me to
predicate
an
interest time span of 6 more hours."
Geordi "Captain, another vessel has entered our
sector."
Picard "Identify."
Data "It appears to have markings very similar to
the 'Microsoft' logo"
Over the speakers "THIS IS ADMIRAL BILL GATES OF
THE
MICROSOFT FLAGSHIP MONOPOLY. WE HAVE POSITIVE
CONFIRMATION
OF UNREGISTERED SOFTWARE IN THIS SECTOR. SURREDER
ALL
ASSETS AND WE CAN AVOID ANY TROUBLE. YOU HAVE 10
SECONDS"
Data "The alien ship has just opened its forward
hatches
and released thousands of humanoid shaped objects."
Picard "Magnifyft"
Riker "Good God captain! Those are humans floating
straight
toward the Borg ship with no life support suits !
How
can
they survive the tortures of deep space ?!"
Data "I don't believe that those are humans sir, if
you
will look closer I believe you will see that they
are
carrying something recognized by twenty-first
century
man
as doe skin leather briefcases, and wearing Armani
suits"
Riker and Picard together (horrified) "Lawyers !!"
Geordi "It can't be. All the Lawyers were rounded
up
and
sent hurtling into the sun in 2017 during the Great
Awakening."
Data "True, but appearently some must have
survived."
Riker "They have surrounded the Borg ship and are
covering
it with all types of papers."
Data "I believe that is known in ancient venacular
as 'red
tape' it often proves fatal."
Riker "They're tearing the Borg to pieces !"
Picard "Turn off the monitors. I can't stand to
watch,
not
even the Borg deserve that."...