Write your abstract
here.
News Flash!
Word 6.6.6 Coming Soon! If you're unhappy with Word
6,
be
patient! A new version of Word 6 is in the works
which
should take the world by storm. New
programmers have
been
hired - including the creative programmers of SATAN
security
software - to bring you Word 6.6.6, which
you
will
like and love, even worship - or else. Packed with
so
many
powerful new features and tools that it can boast
of "power
beyond anything in this world," the new program is
expected
to require 600 Mb of disk space and at least 66 Mb
of
RAM
for optimum performance.
Though the software, currently code-named "The
Beast,"
won't be available until just before the year 2000,
Microsoft is already planning a unique customer
service
strategy. Registered users will receive a lifetime
serial
number for technical support and access to the
Microsoft
Global Network. This serial number will be
microetched
with
painless laser surgery onto each user's forehead,
barely
visible to the human eye but easily scanned by
computer. "Who could ever have predicted such a
thing?"
beamed the team manager in a recent interview. "A
new
computer world order will be upon us. We can hardly
wait."
Highly placed sources in Microsoft say that the
computer
community should begin preparing now to ensure that
their
computers are optimized ahead of time. "Make the
sacrifice
now to be ready for the Beast, or you'll be left
behind.
The last thing we want is to have future customers
feel
that they've been burned."