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VATICAN CITY (AP)--In a joint press conference in
St.
Peter's Square this morning, MICROSOFT Corp. and
the
Vatican announced that the Redmond
software giant
will
acquire the Roman Catholic
Church in exchange for
an
unspecified number of shares of MICROSOFT common
stock.
If
the deal goes through, it will be the first time a
computer
software
company has acquired a major world
religion.
With the acquisition, Pope John Paul II will become
the
senior vice-president of the combined company's new
Religious Software Division, while MICROSOFT senior
vice-
presidents Michael Maples and Steven Ballmer will
be
invested in the College of Cardinals, said
MICROSOFT
Chairman Bill Gates.
"We expect a lot of growth in the religious
market in
the
next five to ten years," said Gates. "The combined
resources of MICROSOFT and the Catholic Church will
allow
us to make
religion easier and more fun for a
broader
range
of people."
Through the MICROSOFT Network, the company's new on-
line
service, "we will make the sacraments available on-
line
for
the first time" and revive the popular pre-Counter-
Reformation practice of selling indulgences, said
Gates. "You can get Communion, confess your sins,
receive
absolution--even reduce your time in Purgatory--all
without
leaving your home."
A new software application, MICROSOFT Church, will
include
a macro language which you can program to download
heavenly
graces automatically while you are away from your
computer.
An estimated 17,000
people attended the
announcement in
St
Peter's Square, watching on a 60-foot screen as
comedian
Don Novello--in character as Father Guido Sarducci--
hosted
the event, which was broadcast by satellite to 700
sites
worldwide.
Pope John Paul II said little during the
announcement.
When
Novello chided Gates, "Now I guess you get to wear
one
of
these pointy hats," the crowd roared, but the
pontiff's
smile seemed strained.
The deal grants MICROSOFT exclusive electronic
rights
to
the Bible and the Vatican's prized art collection,
which
includes works by such masters as Michelangelo and
Da
Vinci. But critics say MICROSOFT will face stiff
challenges
if it attempts to limit competitors' access to
these
key
intellectual properties.
"The Jewish people invented the look and feel of
the
holy
scriptures," said Rabbi David Gottschalk of
Philadelphia. "You take the parting of the Red Sea--
we
had
that thousands of years before the Catholics came
on
the
scene."
But others argue that the Catholic and Jewish
faiths
both
draw on a common Abrahamic heritage. "The Catholic
Church
has just been more successful in marketing it to a
larger
audience," notes Notre Dame theologian Father
Kenneth
Madigan. Over the last 2,000 years, the Catholic
Church's
market share has increased dramatically, while
Judaism,
which was the first to offer many of the concepts
now
touted by Christianity, lags behind.
Historically, the Church has a reputation as an
aggressive
competitor, leading crusades to pressure people to
upgrade
to Catholicism, and entering into exclusive
licensing
arrangements in various kingdoms whereby all
subjects
were
instilled with Catholicism, whether or not they
planned
to
use it. Today Christianity is available from
several
denominations, but the Catholic version is still
the
most
widely used. The Church's mission is to reach "the
four
corners of the earth," echoing MICROSOFT's vision
of "a
computer on every desktop and in every home."
Gates described MICROSOFT's long-term strategy to
develolable religious architecture that will support
all
religions through emulation. A single core religion
will be
offered with a choice of interfaces according to
the
religion desired--"One religion, a couple of
different
implementations," said Gates.
The MICROSOFT move could spark a wave of mergers
and
acquisitions, according to Herb Peters, a spokesman
for
the
U.S. Southern Baptist Conference, as other churches
scramble to strengthen their position in the
increasingly
competitive religious market. ..
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