Divorceand debt, both start with D, coincidence? To find out, read on. Many ofus pile on the debt faster then food at the
buffet table but we are notable to get rid of it as quickly. The debt sits there and like food itslowly starts to rot away but in this case it starts to rot away ourrelationships. Maybe this sound familiar, “Hey can we get a new chairfor the living room?” You bark back, ”The one we have is just fine.”The volume just keeps going up from there and a week later you don’tremember why you are still fighting, just that this time you are goingto win. What really happened there? You know the chair is long pastbeing fine. You also know you’re barely making payments on your debtload. It is like a subconscious trigger someone says, “spend” and youflip because the added stress of your second job has started to wearaway at your confidence as a provider. You can’t continue to go on likethis.Financialstress is reported to be a top reason for divorce. I firmly believefrom working with couples for many years in my practice that this is afact. Many people have an aversion to facing what their real problemsare. Instead they refer the pain of the debt
situation onto somethingless threatening for them. It creates havoc in relationships. It doesnot matter if it is your marriage, dating, parents, family or friends.When money troubles get in there, first it is hard to get rid of themand second it
normally causes some permanent scaring and therelationships normally drift apart.What can you do? It can seem complicated and each situation is always unique and a few rules normally apply to everyone.1.Takea deep breath, slow down, get a grip and be nice to yourself. There areforces in the world designed to get you to spend every penny you haveand every penny you can borrow.2.Get over the fact you have overspent. The “Joneses” have gone bankruptyears ago, so don’t go and join them. Just because we are all taught tokeep up with them doesn’t make it right or smart.3.Pay close attention to how you satisfy yourself when you feel down. Doyou spend money to make yourself try to feel better? If so, and itlikely is, find things to do that help and don’t cost money. I learnedthis when I traveled to 50 countries in 12 years. That costs a lot ofmoney, so when I was able to do things for free I found them and didthem.4.Sit down with your partner and lay it out on the table, the good, thebad and the ugly. Generals in a war want all the information they canget, that way they can make a plan to win. If it can work in a war, itcan work in a more normal situation also. Assemble the facts anddevelop a winning strategy.5.After getting some help; either from books, credit counselors, WRITE ITOUT!! You and your partner agree on it and follow it like it is goingto save your relationship, because it likely will. If you are normalsomewhere during the debt recovery process you will want to go on aspending binge, refer to #3 and hold off. I promise you once you havelived a while debt free and start gaining wealth you won’t want to goback to your days of debt and you may never experience the pain ofdivorce. Be smart to be wealthy.