With reference to The Verve(The Star), Wednesday, June,7 2006 Page 16
Title : The Selfishness of the Solo Mother by
Yasmin Alibhai-Brown
My name is Ideshni Danilala, I am a freelance Journalist, who is about to become a single mom.
Some of the comments in the above mentioned
article were slightly offensive. I was raised without a Father (at the age of 4) not by choice, but due to natural causes. My mum had to raise three
children on her own and I am proud to say that she did a remarkable job. We are three well educated, self-motivated and financially stable individuals. The circumstances that had prevailed, made life difficult for my mum, but with the strength and faith in giving her best for her children molded us into who we are today.
I do not at all blame woman in this century wanting a baby but seeking an unorthodox method of obtaining that little bundle of joy. I am not saying that all men are insensitive or inconsiderate to the needs of a woman, but once they find out the woman is pregnant, they are no where to be seen. Been pregnant is so special to a female, its like been part of a different world, that only you as the person carrying this life inside of you can understand. You are going through all sorts of changes, emotionally and physically. That you can not afford to be stressed out by a father, who shows little or no concern. The lack of consideration can make you hate the experience, and why? Would you want someone to take that away from you? Just because it is not socially accepted by society, a single mom raising a little baby on her own strength…
This article compares us to the Celebrities, that are doing it on their own. As a female and an expecting single mom, I take my hat of to them. As it is hard work, but the experience, teaches you everything you need to know, when you need to know it. You focus more on the needs of the child and try harder at making the best life for them. Take a look at Angelina Jolie, she was a single mom who had adopted 2 children and gave a them a beautiful sense of belonging, not to mention love. Did she need the support of a man to do this?
Yes, I will admit that children need to know that they have two parents. Your statement ' what will the mother say when asked about the dad who never showed up?' Children these days are much more understanding or advanced, they are smart and pick up on things quicker than adults, without a doubt the mum will be able to explain to the child, why Dad is not here? And giving the child the choice to see his or her father, when older, is one of the ways to help with the Childs understanding.
No two situations are the same. We can not judge and make assumptions that children born out of wedlock or the product of a one night stand will have a 'messed up life'.
As a woman who wrote this article one would expect that she be a little more empathetic.
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