Life as a single person offers many rewards, including learning how
to build a healthy relationship with yourself. However, if you’re ready
to share your life with someone and want to build a lasting, worthwhile
relationship, life as a single person can also be very frustrating.
Maybe you’re confused about why you seem to end up
in relationships that don’t last, or perhaps you’re angry and wonder
why you keep repeating the same bad choices when it comes to dating and
forming relationships. Or maybe you grew up in a household where there
was no role model of a solid, healthy relationship and you doubt that
such a thing even exists. Well, healthy relationships do exist. But
few, if any, are perfect. They all require work, compromise, and a
willingness to resolve conflict in a positive way.
To find and build any relationship worth keeping, you
may need to start by re-assessing some of your misconceptions about
dating and relationships that can prevent you from finding lasting
Online dating, singles events, and matchmaking services such as
speed dating may prove successful and enjoyable for some people, but for
many they lack any kind of spontaneity and often feel more like
high-pressure job interviews than fun social occasions. And whatever
dating experts might tell you, there is a big difference between
finding the right career and finding lasting love.
Think of your time as a single person as a great
opportunity to meet new people, expand your social circle, and
participate in new events. Instead of scouring dating sites or hanging
out in pick-up bars, find and participate in activities that interest
you. You don’t have to be the life of the party but just by putting
yourself in a new environment, you might meet interesting new people.
Even if you don’t meet that special someone, you will still have
enjoyed yourself and maybe forged new friendships.
for a favorite charity, animal shelter, or political campaign. Or even
try a volunteer vacation (for details see Resources section below).
- Take an extension class at a local college or university.
- Sign up for dance classes, cooking classes, or art classes.
- Join a running club, hiking group, cycling group, or sports team.
- Join a theater group, film group, or attend a panel discussion at a museum.
- Find a local book group or photography club.
- Attend local food and wine tasting events or art gallery openings.
- Write a list of activities available in your area
and, with your eyes closed, randomly put a pin in one, even if it’s
something you would never normally consider. How about pole dancing,
origami, or lawn bowling? Getting out of your comfort zone can be
rewarding in itself.