Let’s imagine a scenario of unrivalled serenity and tranquility; a forty-something man lazing on a vast sand dune, deeply
engrossed in a book that seems to effortlessly hover in front of him. His wife, wearing a full coloured batik pario performs a seemingly impossible balancing act; but nevertheless succeeds every time in doing her Teh Tarik stunt. His in-laws were watching the kids who took their turns spinning tops; now and then calling out loud; forbidding them from playing with the
aliens.
What – aliens? Or so I hear you say. Well, for want of a better word, actually. I don’t really know what we’d eventually call them. Here on Planet Earth, we simply refer to those whoever is foreign to us as, well, foreigners. For beings from other planets, we’d call them aliens. Or extra-terrestrials. Or if they came from Mars, then Martians they are. If they reside on the Moon, then perhaps they are Moon-golians. Or Lunarians. Or Lunatics.
Mental equilibrium aside, don’t laugh it off just yet. If everything goes as planned, the above serene and tranquil scenario would represent a typical Malaysian family having a typical vacation errrrr…well…on the moon. You see, we would soon be sending our first astronaut or cosmonaut or whatever we’d decide to call him to test how it feels wearing a batik moonsuit in outer
space. He would also most likely be obliged to sportingly toss Roti Canai, pull some Teh Tarik and possibly, spin a top.
Why Roti Canai and Teh Tarik? Perhaps because they are deemed to be the unmistakable icons of the Malaysian Race. My father, for one, would hear nothing of that. He’d vehemently argue that our astronaut should play Caklempong. By the way, whose idea was it that we have to show off our culinary skills in outer space? If that was of any cosmic importance, the Americans would surely have had a permanent Auntie Anne’s outlet in their Space Shuttles.
One cannot help but think that all this brouhaha over tossing Roti Canai in space is a `cheap’ publicity stunt. The irony and paradox is that it doesn’t come cheap. More so considering the lack of scientific value that it brings. When I was in primary school, the subject of the universe and space explorations was serious and purely scientific in nature. Now, I could easily imagine pictures of cosmonauts doing all sorts of funny things in my grandchildren’s Science book. Perhaps even do a Kuda Kepang with a bit of Ulek Mayang thrown in for good measure. Or sing Negaraku. Or Menuju Puncak. Or whatever.
But whatever for? Now, that’s actually the real poser, not the aforesaid antics. Granted, the year 2007 has been designated as another `Visit Malaysia Year’; so one could be forgiven to momentarily think that these lunar performances were planned in conjunction with that. Or is all that carried out for the sake of (literally) bringing the country to greater heights? Or perhaps we are seriously planning for the ultimate RMK (Rancangan Malaysia Ke-Bulan)?
Pardon my ignorance, but insofar as my limited knowledge justifies my ramblings, space as a final frontier does not promise much hope for the future of mankind. It’s far too vast, too hostile, and too expensive. Call me a pessimist, or a conservative; but for us to dream of one day conquering space the way Star Trekkers do is exactly just that: a dream.
As for my own kids, I hate to disappoint you all; but I’m afraid we will still have to continue spinning the top at our own backyard, here on good ole Planet Earth. I will of course wear that Star Wars mask again, dab my chest like a big, bad alien and growl: “Spin your top now, Earthling!!” And when finally we get tired of all that, let’s just go out and have Teh Tarik at Ampang Waterfront Rooftop.
Just remind me to take the mask off, will you…?