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Shvoong Home>Arts & Humanities>Jealousy Affects... Relationship? Summary

Jealousy Affects... Relationship?

Book Summary   by:Kumar Swapnil     Original Author: Kumar Swapnil
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Jealousy is a whole bundle of feelings that tend to get lumped together. It is one of the most destructive and painful emotions in a relationship. Jealousy is about fear of losing power of control in a relationship. Jealousy is sweet sometimes, but in moderation. Too much jealousy can destroy a relationship, ... Coz its driving a wedge between the two.

You have a relationship for a long time with an amazing Guy or Girl, you love him/her very much, but the problem is that he/she is very jealous and that''s why you are arguing a lot. You don''t want to lose him/her so you have to deal with it.

But he/she is over reacting: he/she calls you in the middle of the night to make sure that you are at home, he/she is checking your mobile phone, calls you when you go out with your friends to see where you are and how much you stay or becomes very angry when he/she sees you looking or talking with any other guy/girl. Also he/she gets suspicious and make accusations which are not all heartfelt, it''s teasing you a lot, accuse you of being unfaithful even if there is no basis for him/her to think this way. After a while you are enough of all this, but you are ready to make all the sacrifices you can to understand him/her and make him/her stop with all these.

There are many reasons we feel jealous and though it is a normal human emotion to feel. Jealousy comes from insecurity. Maybe he/she is afraid that you will see another boy/girl and suddenly like him/her more that you like him/her. So, try to not give him/her many reasons to feel jealous. Avoid looking at other boys/girls in his/her presence, don’t compare him/her with other boys/girls, don''t exclude him/her from your
future plans and also avoid having male/female best friends. If you have already a best male/female friend and don''t want to lose any of
them, you should try meeting them both and making them become friends.

No matter the reasons why he/she feels jealous, you should try to understand why he/she feels that way. As an example, maybe he/she can''t deal with the fact that before him/her you had a boyfriend/girlfriend, your first boyfriend/girlfriend with whom you stayed more than with him/her, you loved him/her, but all is over because he/she betrayed you. But your actual boyfriend/girlfriend doesn''t want to accept that,
and continues to be jealous on him/her. Explain him/her that he/she has to accept that we all have a past and move on because that past isn''t
going to change, and assure him/her that he/she is the only one for you.

Maybe all of us which have a relationship for some time and love their partner are sometimes a little jealous. Think about it: how would you
feel to see him/her at school/college/work talking with other girls/guys, and comes and tells you how great they are, wouldn''t you be
jealous? Or maybe there are some people around him/her that you don''t like and don''t trust in them, and then you see that you are jealous
too. A little bit of jealousy is healthy, but in his/her case, which is over reacting, he/she may need some help from you to get over it.The best thing you can do to deal with your jealous boyfriend/girlfriend and to not break up with him/her is to talk sincere with him/her and tell him/her how you feel. Also be faithful to him/her and explain him/her that you know that relationships are based on trust so you are going to be sincere with him/her all the time. Communicate sincerely and with calm and tell him/her he/she needs to get him/her self – esteem in check, because he/she is splinting you apart. Having a heart to heart discussion and explain him/her that all this jealous behavior will drive you away. Often an honest exchange of feelings will solve the problem.

The jealousy often ruine the relationship because it push away the other partner more and more with every fight and argue they had; after r which is accused all the time had enough and leave. But if you really love him/her and want that your relationship should continue, make an agree both, to stop arguing so much. Try...not give him/her so many reasons to be jealous.

Regards Kumar Swapnil
Published: August 24, 2007   
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