COPING WITH YOUR IN-LAWS
Imagine this scenario: Ronke and Yinka are a middle- aged couple. They have been married for
over 10years. Comfortable Financially, They are both owners of the companies they work in. While Ronke , the wife, owned a bridal suite and a catering outfit, Yinka is a genius of an entrepreneur. He is one of the first to take advantage of the booming Internet business; opening a large cyber café at a time the internet was just exploding on the consciousness of people, which he continued to invest.
They owned their home, a big house with a spacious lawn and a big garden at the back.
All in all, they are the ideal of what a successful
marriage should be. However there was a serpent in their garden: the serpent of childlessness.
This has been the burden they have been coping with throughout their
married life. It was not that they were anxious to have children, for they both believe that God’s will would be done in their lives. It was the external pressure to which they were subjected that was making life hell.
It was especially hard on Ronke, being the wife. Allegations and countless insinuations had been made against her. Stories flew around about how she had damaged her womb during her youth by her harlotry, how she is a witch who had donated all her kids to the coven. These were just examples of the wild stories circulating around and about them.
What made it particularly worse was the treatment being meted to her by her in-laws.
Young and old, they all had something to say about her condition. None of them had anything positive to say. Their remarks were all negative and after close to a decade of listening to such insults it began to take its toll on their marriage. Soon afterwards another woman was brought from the village for yinka to marry, and faced with the options of marrying her or receiving curses from his mother he opted for the former.
Now Ronke has become a shadow of herself, scorned by her in-laws and the new wife who now has a baby boy. Her only source of comfort is Yinka, who has remained loving.
Her friends are now advising her to leave her husband and live alone in order to avoid the constant stress she is presently enduring.
This scenario is typical of the relationship of a married woman with her husband’s relationship of a married woman with her husband’s relatives. While not the norm, it is common enough such that it does not surprise anyone.
How does one relate with one’s in-law ? A) She must first of all learn that most important of all virtues, patience. With patience, overcoming taunts from in-laws becomes as easy as water running off a raincoat.
B) When meeting a prospective mother-in-law, it is best to prepare as if you are going for a job interview in one of the blue-chip companies. This is not to say you wear your best accessories that will be over dressing at its worst.
C) Make sure u greet in correct cultural mode when you see her
D) Be willing to give them the respect they deserve
Try to follow this gestures and your marriage will never be the same.