The real
challenge does not lie in making the decision as to which
path should we choose.
The real challenge lies in balancing
life between the world we know from our Buddhist studies and the life which everyone else perceived as "normal".
The 5 precepts which I took each day can at times appear to be challenging to fulfill, especially in this country where
wealth,
status and materiality are what most are pursuing.
That''s why sometimes if I am not back home in Johor, I rather stay in my own room and appreciate the serenity of myself and the solitary.
The culture of the people here almost going against Buddhist practices most of the time. Go pubs and clubs almost every Friday night for drinks and dance; spend almost every single cent they make on clothes, hair-do, new hand phones. That''s how most of them live their lives. Enjoy, enjoy and more enjoyment.
Honestly, I am feeling very uncomfortable with this type of lifestyle. I have rejected all invitations to clubs and drinking. That made me a boring or sometimes anti-social in their eyes.
Before I came here, I was leading a life which I was making just enough for myself and that I have time to practice Buddhism. But it wasn''t enough to help with my mom''s medication expense and to support my sister''s education.
It was a tough decision to make. I had to let go my "old" life and come here to have a "
competitive" lifestyle. It''s tiring but I am trying my best.
I am not here to compete with the others. I''ve recently rejected a
promotion because I know I am not ready to take up the additional responsibilities. I am not affected by the extra cash that I would be getting. I just want to do it right with a serene mind and heart; and to be able to provide for my family.
It’s hard to get back into that serene state of mind when one is too exhausted from work. I didn’t know when I would be able to continue to practice meditation. But I made aspirations that I will get back to it one day. I just need to be patient. I missed that serene life.
With all these mind struggles going on, I have come to known accidentally that my client is a practicing Buddhist as well. Before I knew that, I felt there was something connecting both of us and I never had problems communicating with her (of which some of my team mates had encountered difficulties).
She gave the address of the meditation center which she always goes to. I felt warm inside. Something’s telling me that this is what I should be continuing doing. I just need the motivation.
Now, my next challenge is to put in effort for this practice in my hectic lifestyle and at the same time, not to be influence by the distractions in this environment.
More summaries about the Balancing life