Discovering the primary
love language of your spouse is essential if you are to keep his/her emotional love tank full.But first,let''s make sure you
know your own love language.Having heard the five emotional love languages,
* Words of
Affirmation * Quality Time
* Receiving Gifts
* Acts of Service
*
Physical Touchsome individuals will know instantaneously their own primary love language and that of their spouse.For others,it will not be that easy.Some are like Bob from Parma Heights,Ohio,who after hearing the five emotional love languages said to me ,'''' i don''t know .It seems that two of those are just about equal for me.''''
''''Which two?'''' I inquired.
''''''Physical Touch '' and Words of affirmation,'''''' Bob responded.
''''By ''Physical Touch,'' what do you mean?''''
''''Well ,mainly sex,'''' Bob replied.
I probe a little further asking ,''''Do you enjoy your wife running her hands,or kissing and hugging you at times when you are not having
sexual intercourse?''''
'''' Those things are fine ,'''' said Bob.'''' I am not going to turn them down ,but the main thing is sexual intercourse.
That''s when i know that she really loves me.''''
Leaving the subject of physical touch for a moment ,i turned to affirmation words and asked, '''' When you say that ''Words of Affirmation'' are also important, what kinds of statements do you find most helpful?''''
''''Almost anything if it is positive ,''''Bob replied .''''When she tells me how good I look,how smart i am ,what a hard worker I am,when she expresses appreciation for the things I do around the house ,when she makes positive comments about my taking time with the children,when she tells me she loves me---all of those things really mean a lot to me.''''
''''Did you receive those kids of comments from your parents when you were growing up uo?''''
''''Not very often,''''Bob said.''''Most of what I got from my parents were critical or demanding words.I guess that''s why I appreciate Carol so much in the first place,because she gave me words of affirmation.''''
''''Let me ask you this.If Carol were meeting your sexual needs,that is,if you were having quality sexual intercourse as often as you desire,but she was giving you negative words,making critical remarks,somtimes putting you down in front of others,do you think you would feel loved by her?''''
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