My Mom always wanted a beautiful, red haired baby girl
that she could name Jody. I was her first baby. I was a
girl
and bald so i was named Laurie. I also had Hyline
Membrane disease and my left lung was collapsed. Mom
said it took a long time for my hair to come in and
when it did it was an ugly, mousy brown. It was also
thin ,stringy, baby fine, fly away hair that she
couldn''t do much with.
My mom had my 3 brothers after me each one with lots
of hair and my youngest one with the red hair she
wanted. Everyday she told us how
rotten we were. We
were NG, no good, never amount to nothing KIDS! If she
ever had life to do over again she would never have
KIDS! She was married for 8 years till I came along.
Dad left because of us KIDS!I started it cause I was
born first. She don''t know why GOD cursed her with such
rotten, no good KIDS!We were full of the devil and
demon possessed just like our no good, low down Dad.
Painful Memories!
Still they linger.
How they ever
scarred my soul.
In the stillness of the midnight.
Tears from past now still flow.
Absent Father.
Bitter Mother.
Screaming and beatings everyday.
Rotten Children,
They survived it.
But pain still lingers on today.
Painful Memories!
Still they linger.
How they ever scarred my soul.
In the stillness of the midnight
Tears from past now still flow.
Besides our Mom''s daily abuse we also had to watch one
of her boyfriend''s beat her up and yell I''m going to
kill all 4 of your Kids in front of your eyes and then
I''m going to kill you. That one molested me when I was
10.
Later we moved and she got another boyfriend. He
seemed much nicer than the last one. However that nice
man was 58 when he raped me a 15. I left home at 16.
I am 46 now. I have not had to have anyone tell me
how worthless am I just have always felt that way. Yes
I believe Jesus loves me i just feel like I''m his least
favorite. I feel less than others. No amount of telling
me now that I''m loved makes me truly believe that.
I''m a survivor of abuse as are my brothers but we are
all deeply scarred.
That''s my sad story.