The current female sexuality paradigm suggests that all a young woman needs
to do to prepare to become sexually active is to spread her legs. While this is
a crude statement it effectively defines our concept of female sexuality. We
expect a woman to receive all her sexual
pleasure from her partner''''s penis. As a
result, she does not need to do anything to prepare herself for partnered
sex,
or specifically
intercourse. Society would prefer that she did not. Sex is a
life long learning process that involves more than three minutes of intercourse.
If a woman is to be a healthy sexual adult she must first be a healthy sexual
child. The process of preparing for "adult" sex involves engaging in
sex and being sexual when you are a child. The first sexual act a girl usually
engages in is self-exploration. As a result of exploring her body she discovers
her vulva and other body parts are sensitive to touch. Not only her own touch,
but also that of her parents and care givers, when they bathe her etc. Because
it feels good to touch these areas she may do so frequently. This can and does
result in orgasm. Girls have been observed masturbating to orgasm when they were
as young as three months old.
As the girl grows she gains the ability to move about and explore the world
around her. As a result of this exploration she discovers other children. When
she explores these other children she explores their genitals and they explore
hers. Since she knows it feels good to touch her own genitals, she may actively
encourage others to do the same. Out of curiosity it seems likely that mutual
oral sexual stimulation would soon start to occur as well. As parents are well
aware, young children stick everything in their mouths. What a girl does not
discover for herself she learns from her peers.
All this sexual development and sexuality takes place in the first few years
of a girl''''s life. By the time puberty starts to occur she has been
"sexually active" for several years. Until puberty occurs, her male
partner''''s penis has been too small to permit deep vaginal penetration,
protecting her undeveloped "reproductive" organs from injury, if her
sexual partners are boys. In addition, since her body is not ready to
reproduce,
older adult men would not see her as a potential reproductive partner.
While we may not agree on the age when this sexual development should or does
occur, it is essential that is does, and that it occurs in about the order
described above. Just as the process of learning to run first involves learning
to crawl and walk, sex is also a learning process made up of essential steps.
Sex is not an instinctive or natural skill we are born with. Engaging in
intercourse having had no past sexual experiences is equivalent to trying to
drive a car on a major highway during rush hour when you have never driven a car
before. Lets just say there would be a lot of painful accidents.
Essential Sexual
Skills
Before any young woman considers engaging in vaginal intercourse she should
have already developed the following sexual skills and knowledge.
Self Awareness: A girl or woman should first learn
about her own body before all else. This means not only knowing where
your clitoris is, but also what is looks like and how it responds to different
types of stimulation. This applies to your entire body, not just your clitoris.
It is being aware of when you are sexually aroused, and what arouses you. Do
men,
women, or both arouse you? It means acknowledging that you are a sexual
being with sexual feelings and thoughts. The greater your awareness of your mind
and body, the better they work.Masturbation: You need to learn to make love to
yourself before you can make love to a partner. As a result of exploring your
body you should discover some areas are very sensitive to touch. Because it
feels good to touch these sensitive areas, you do it repeatedly and discover the
pleasures of orgasm. If you ar
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