Spiritual
Divorce They say that eighty percent of people who get married will get
divorced sooner or later. Unfortunately, I myself came across this book only after
getting divorced, but I hope that reading it will benefit other people. The author dedicates her book to all those who are aching, suffering and experiencing anger while in the process of getting divorced. Ford presents seven
Spiritual rules that may help people create wonderful life after getting divorced. She maintains that one may even gain from the act – not materially but spiritually – by letting it improve our life and redirect it to the place we have always wanted it to go and never dared. The book discusses insights and ideas that may give a person who considers getting divorced the strength and the hope to move on. Debbie’s seven rules are: The
rule of acceptance: What ever has to be will be because there is no such thing as mere coincidence The rule of surrender: the belief that stopping a fight and stopping the resistance to anything that the other party says or does will bring about new beginnings and a positive change. The rule of Godly guidance: the belief that god will do for us and we, in our turn, will simply be more humble. The rule of
responsibility: reaching the insight that it takes two to tango. In other words, reaching an understanding of our part in creating the drama of divorce, taking responsibility for that and come to terms with the past. The rule of choice: to choose new and empowering interpretations for our present reality. The rule of forgiveness: to find in ourselves the compassion first of all towards ourselves, then for our partners. The rule of creation: to learn how to create a better future for yourself. Here Ford suggests what she terms “the vow of divorce”, which she considers highly important: simply be decide to be good parents, as your children expect you to be. Declare, both of you, that despite the bitter residue, you will be good parents, will share the load and will take equal responsibility, regardless of any move of one of you or the other. The children are not the ones who are meant to suffer from what has gone wrong between you two. They will be happier and will have fewer conflicts if you keep this vow. Throughout her book, Ford presents examples and exercises for each of the above rules and gives practical guidance on what to do in various cases. Beautiful and highly recommended.
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